The Gospel Of The Mime

Growth, Tears And Makeup + The Farmer's Makeup

Growth, Tears, And Makeup

Ben was welcomed in the school with open arms, and legs. He charmed the ladies in a way he never considered possible, but decided to wait a few years as he was thirteen. God would not want his own son to sin so soon, even though he didn't mind watching him like a thousand year old creep. Years passed and the mime grew into godhood.

At the age of fifteen he began balding extremely slowly and was doing underground shows. An occult following began around Ben, and he smiled. This was the plan, he would ascend as soon as possible.

Two more years passed, and he well versed with the ladies. He could charm his way into any panties he felt like, almost as if a gift from the creep of a lord watching over him. He was well known at the parties as mr.stealyogirl, xx_pussyslayer_xx, the guy fucking dat cucks girl, and of course the leader of the new world. He formed a church in the sewers and subways of the roach infested city. All he had to do was show his godlike strengths, and ask god for a signature for proof. It was all going along swimmingly, until on his eighteenth birthday he was kicked out. His father was told about the cult by his co-worker, and couldn't handle it.

What his father didn't know was that this turned the cult into a faith. The mime preached across the nation and proved himself worthy of the title Jesus Thrist, but soon tragedy would strike. He stole a girl from the wrong person, because this was the daughter of the current president. She was a year older, and easily charmed under the covers. This took place roughly three months of forming the true faith. Now the president decided to make him national enemy number one.

The plan for not being jailed was simple. The mime was more slippery than liquid being held in a hand, and more sticky than strongest glue, especially with the ladies. The remaining years of that man's presidency were filled with sleeping from bed to bed, and spreading the true faith. Worshipers were spread world wide, unified under a single mime. A mime that would one day take in the world's sin, and purify it over millennia to lead the new world. The world will understand the white faced god as their savior, and he will be the most benevolent ruler the world has ever seen. A ruler that would let all the doves fly free from the world's many towers, and keep the women safe under a new order. They would all be equal, and this is what the world would need. Unification, under benevolence, and a single tip of the hat.

The Farmer's Makeup

Porno Mime had to disguise himself. He moved to a soul crushing office job, until getting a letter from the mail. His grandfather from his mother's side left him a farm. Suddenly everything clicked, his mother was just a farm girl trying to make it in the city, but was crushed and desperate. She began to rot, and eventually shat him out. He knew if he stayed in such a highly monitored area for too long, he would be spotted. So he left for the valley where the farm once stood, and prayed for this new start to end well.

Before he left he got the edgiest haircut possible with his remaining hair, leaving a possum shaped spot in the middle of his head that draped onto his forehead.

For the rest of that forsaken presidency, he toiled away at the fields. He produced rice, beans, and fruits from an orchard made into fine wines. He conquered the food industry with one hand on his hoe, and the other on his johnson. Finally everything changed when the fire nation attacked. The mime burnt in the radiative ashed, waiting to be revived.

China and Korea became a super nation and nuked the town, not knowing Porno Mime resided there, and they would soon regret it. The wrath of a god is unforgiving, silent, and swift. He ran across the salted seas, turning cans into canned wine as he rushed. Once he got to the stronghold of the nation, he tore down the door and was gunned down. Suddenly a light guided him.

Porno Mime's body shook and shuddered out the bullets, and he burnt them all in the holy light of a thousand demons, and a million demons. The building burnt down, and so did the nation. He was the one man nuke, and would return to america with the blazing head of the world's latest threat. He would make his return, and he would hit hard.