My Diary

4/13/18

I'm crying again. I thought I had become numb to it because the initial blow knocked me out.. but now I feel everything. I miss her so much. I miss you so much. I hate to see you in such agony and I wish I could take it all away. I wish we could still be together. Maybe if I talked to your parents.. I don't care if they hurt me. I don't care if they reject me. Just so they know we loved each other, just so they know we should still be able to talk. And not having to be cryptic about it through here or messenger or whatever we do. I want to see your beautiful face again. I want to hear your sexy voice again... So bad. To wake up to you, to have you wake up to me. I hope soon we can be together again. I hope I can talk with you again and give you all my love and affection.. I love you my little princess, please never forget that. This is just an obstacle in the road, and we will find a way around it or through it.
Today to try and take my mind off of something I cannot control, I found a TV series to binge and clear my mind. Because all I can think about is you, but the shows name is How I Met Your Mother. You know I've heard alot about this show but have never watched it. And I see alot of what I am and what I do in Marshall, a character of the show, and I'm sorry for spoiling but Marshall has a girlfriend whom he loves and is crazy for, and after 9 years they decide to get married! And then something happens and they break up.. I haven't finished the show so idk if they get back together... But I'm faithful they will, and even more so that we will.
Also I'm texting a few friends, Jake and Eric and Jake's girl since they are together RN, about this because they were the ones to support me and I have them to fall on and to be picked up. I wish I could talk with you so I could pick you up and twirl you back onto our path.. Soon, I hope.. soon. Jake's girl also might contact you because she said that if I knew how you were doing and I had responded that you didn't know and I'm extremely worried about you.. I'm so concerned and worried and I just want you to be happy and safe...
One day, we will do all of it again. And we won't have anyone to separate us.

I love you Serena. I always will. No matter what the ugh thick and thin. We aren't together in person but we are in soul. You are my Forever and Always. My eternity and a Day. My anything and everything. Cry if you need to. Be real with your friends. If your not okay please tell them, especially Madison or Mackenzie. Specifically Mackenzie. She knows you and will help you alot. Please don't bottle it all up, don't let it set in. It will hurt more and leave deeper scars.. I for one know that and I don't want you to experience it again or at all.. Please talk to someone.

I love you.

For now, xoxoxoxoxo
Tyler Peerenboom