it's complicated » vkook[✔]

thirty seven

Jungkook froze at the mention of his name when he entered the room but soon found that Jimin was mumbling in his sleep.

Gulping slightly he closed the door and edged inside, dragging a chair to the side of Jimin's hospital bed so he could sit.

"K-Kookie!" Jimin mumbled again seeming more panicked and Jungkook carefully placed a hand over his, being wary of the wires that were protruding out of the boy's skin.

"Shh, Jimin, I'm right here." He ran his thumb in comforting patterns across the back of his hand. 

A few minutes passed in silence in which Jungkook stared dazed at Jimin's pale body.

"Jimin, I-I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you. I thought I was doing the right thing but I should have atleast stayed in contact. If I had, maybe you wouldn't be on this hospital bed right now." He sniffled, his hand roaming over the boy's small pinkie and he gave a watery smile remembering how many times they had laced their hands together and compared the size differnce of their hands.

"I hated coming here, I hated my parents for making the move, I hated myself for being so shy and reserved, and I hate the fact that I'd be a loner. But you changed all that.. Since the first day you stuck by my side and helped me through the struggles of being the new kid. You made me a better person and helped me overcome the battles I was facing with myself. I-I don't think I can ever repay you for saving me from self-hatred." Jungkook let his fingers trail over the hairs that were fluttering across Jimin's closed eyelids, his fingertips trailing down the side of his pale cheekbones, his neck, until he finally withdrew his hand. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to do the same for you. I'm sorry I didn't put my own feelings aside to see that you were happy, that as long as I was by your side you didn't need anything else. I'm sorry I left you alone when you needed me. I-I'm just so sorry." The boy hiccuped, tears rolling down his cheeks as he leant against Jimin's hand, his own holding onto the boy's pale wrist as his tears soaked into the white sheets.

He felt a groan and then someone's fluttering touch against his cheek and Jungkook shot up to see Jimin shifting slightly.

"Jungkook?" He said the name in shock, not believing that the younger was beside him, making his heart flutter at the fact that he hadn't been dreaming and whatever he had heard must have been real. 

The increased pace of the boy's heartbeat could be seen on his heart monitor.

"Jiminie? Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He stood to call and doctor but Jimin grabbed at his wrist shaking his head weakly.

"J-Just stay with me...please?" 

"Of course." Jungkook held the boy's hand and they sat in silence. Neither knew how much time passed but it didn't matter. They were together, at peace, and that's all that mattered.

"H-How is Taehyung?" Jungkook stiffened at the question, his heart and mind racing as he turned his face away from the boy in hopes he wouldn't see him cry.

"I-I don't know..." Jimin raised his hand weekly to tilt Jungkook's face back towards him. He could see the pain and longing behind the younger's eyes.

"You love him don't you?" Jungkook didn't respond, hot tears staining his cheeks as his heart pinched at the fact that he didn't know Taehyung's condition, didn't know whether he was okay or if he'd ever see him again. The thoughts were killing him and he hated it. 

With Jimin he felt a sense of belonging, like he was wanted and needed, that he could be himself and not have to worry about anything. With Jimin it was him and just him. 

But with Taehyung he felt that deep affection, the feeling of being cherished and adored and loved and protected. 

"Don't hold back Kookie, don't let my confession stop you from being happy." 

"W-What do you mean?"

"I love you Kookie, with all my heart, but I'm sticking by my words. You're my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my partner in crime, and I wouldn't change any of that for the world. You love him, you love Taehyung. You could see it in the ways your eyes would dance whenever you two would fight. You cared for him before you thought you did, and without me around you started to realize your true feelings for him. You weren't afraid that he'd steal me away from you, you were afraid of the future, because Kim Taehyung is your kryptonite. You feared what putting your love in his hands would do, whether he would keep your heart safe or whether he'd let you burn. You hurt him but he never let you go, and now, I don't want you to let him go." 

Jungkook was at a loss for words, his throat closing as he surpressed the need to cry out his heart. 

"Go. Go make sure he's okay." Jimin's hand came up to wipe at his tears, his thumb running across his cheekbone. He took that moment to grab the older's hand and just cry. Cry out everything that had kept him numb for the past twenty four hours, from losing his best friend, to potentially losing his boyfriend. He felt it, he felt it all, and he couldn't be more grateful for Jimin.

"Thank you." He whispered the words standing to place a gentle kiss to the corner of Jimin's mouth, his hands cupping the boy's face as he placed another to his forehead.

•••

a/n: hate me, i dont care ;-;

md;0