YOURS - A Darshan Raval Fanfiction

Spaces

You know that phase when you're so done - always dealing with pain, that you get fed up. Or the amount of tears have strained down your face that there's nothing more left. Your eyes have dried up and the heart has gone silent.
No excitement, no happiness, no pain - can touch it anymore. Nothing can make it beat faster or nothing can slower its pace. It just keeps going on beating on its own drastic rhythm, with no control of the outer world in it.

I have become that in the last two weeks. My heart has become that kinda numb. Where I don't feel anything anymore. Even I'm bored with plastering the auto smile on my face every time there's someone in front of me. Every muscle of my body have become numb and every movement seems useless.

Seems like heartache brings the odd changes in our lives. I haven't shed a single drop of tears from that night of confession. It just didn't come. I don't even feel sad anymore. It's a weird phase. This nothingness or emptiness.
I've distanced myself for a while; from the constant presence of him everywhere. My phone is switched off from almost a week. And I have no intention to switch it back on, not now at least. I need time to think, clear up my mind and cope up with the new situation.

I need to be the strong one and try to focus on something else instead of his thoughts.

I need this. I know I can't be fixed. This heart of mine has been stabbed too many times to be okay. And so I need a bit time, at least, to be normal again.

Space is all that can help me now. I thought I could be selfless for him. But now that I think about it, I had been only selfish in these years, in the most twisted way.
I had been with him through thick and thin because seeing him happy is my biggest need. I can't stand seeing him sad.
This friendship, this love - all of it was my want, my cravings. I needed him because he makes me happy, he makes me feel good, he fulfills me, he fixes me. It was all about me. Yet it couldn't be about me.

Yet after everything, I'm here, empty-hearted; alone; deserted.