Rants

my My life

Okay so to everyone reading this, -besides my friends- Im a complete stranger. You don't know anything about so im going to tell you.

I am just going to say this, I don't want putty I just want people who have been through the same thing I have went through, hell even more, that you are not alone, there are people here for you  i am one of them, we are not victims so don't think that for a second, we are survivors

And to my friends that are reading this, yes I am doing this and yes this may be stupid but I'm ready to tell the world MY story so here it is:

Okay so let's take this back to the beginning

A mother lays in a hospital bed her husband beside her holding her hand and the doctor says:
"One more push" And so the mother complies and pushes out her newborn child the 4th one she's given birth to-

Okay maybe I won't start that far but I'll fill in some details

Well anyways the husband that's holding her hand isn't an angle of a husband, he was abusive to his wife and his children, when the mothers youngest child was 2 years of age the mother divorced he piece of shit husband. When the youngest child of the mother had turned 4the mothers 2nd eldest and 3rd eldest kids were taken and put into foster care. The mother had to give her youngest child to her sister and his husband. There grandchild became the mothers child's best friend. At age 5 the child returned to her mother along with her sisters that her moth fought to get back. A year tater the child was now six and was swinging on a swing set in the playground that was in the middle of the apartment place she lived at. The mother went inside to get a glass of water and the little girl thought it would be a good time to get a slim-gim  from the vending machine that was in the washing machine place next to the playground. The little girl walked inside and over to the vending machine only to there are no slim-gims. Suddenly a man walks in from the door on the other side of the building, facing away from the playground. The man saw the little girl looking at the machine with a sad face and walked over to her.
"What's wrong?" The man asked the little girl and she looked up at him
"Mommy says I'm not aloud to talk to strangers." The little girl says soon realizing that in telling the stranger that then she is indeed, talking to a stranger.
"Its alright my names Kin if you tell me your name then we won't be strangers anymore!" He said a smile on his face.
"Okay then I'm Emily but my mom calls me Emmy!" The little girl says her 6 year old mind finding it to be true with the words he are saying.
"Hey what did you come in here to get? I can get it for, I'm actually the one re stalking the machine !" He says and the girls face lights up
" I wanted a slim-gim but I don't have the money and the machines empty."
"That's alright fallow me" than man says before leading the little girl out the side door in which he came in.
"Here you go!" He says handing her her snack he got off of a truck .

"Thank you mister!" The girl says opening it up and eating it all.
"No problem, hey do you wanna go for a walk" He asked and the little girl looked around skeptically.
"My mommy is probably looking for me." The little girl says
"Hey its okay we can go for a walk and then I'll return you to you mom." He says and again her little 6 year old mind found truth within his lies.
"Okay!" She says cheerfully before he grabs her hand and they begin walking around the path that circles the complex. The man then pulls her onto a path that leads by the woods and loops around back to where the machine place is. The little girl was in her own world looking up at the birds  flying and bees humming around. The man pulls her off into the woods.
"I thought we were going for a walk?" The girl asked.
"We are." The man says before turning around and pushing to the ground, his nice act now completely forgotten.
*W-what are you doing?" The little girl asked before the man started pulling her jeans down
"S-stop!" The little girl yelled trying to push the man off of her but her weak little arms can push I'm off. He begins to kiss her stomach going down lower till he reaches the hem of her pink princess under were

"Stop please!" The little girl yells as she tries some more to bush him off but he wouldn't budge.

Suddenly she hears her mother calling for her "EMILY WHEE ARE YOU!" the mothers voice is full  of concern for her little girl.

As if on instinct the little girl calls back for her mother"MOMMY!" the man then takes off running and the girl stands up pulling up her pants and her mother walks into the woods, seeing her little girl in tears, she pulls her into a hug before pulling away and calling her boyfriend, a police officer. The cops soon arrive and arrest the man that had taken advantage a innocent 6 year old, he had tainted her, left an image that would stay in her head forever, never going to disappear never going to be replaced by a happier image  , she was dirty, tainted, she knew in her little 6 year old that things could of gotten so much worse

And so the little girl grew up ,nightmare's haunting her dreams, therapy in which she always lies about what happened, no wanting to tell what truly happened. The girl then made friends at school friends that stayed with her from 5 the grade all through 7th and friends that she made in 6th grade that are still with her now

Here that little girl is about to start 8th grade, she's now 13 and she has so many friends but that image is still in her head

And that little girl is:...

Me.........