Rants

life

Life is funny, one day you head over heals in love with a guy you have already dated twice. And the next you crying yourself o sleep because you believe he doesn't love you enough. Pathetic right?

You spend all hours of the day thinking about whether or not this guy really loves you or not but your too scared to ask. Too scared to see the reaction. In your Brian you go over every way the conversation can go wrong. Every way you get embarrassed and humiliated.

You love this guy, in fact, he's the only guy you have ever loved(besides your family members) and you're scared to loose him, scared to tell him you mind. You're scared that if you tell him everything you think, how you want to be held, how you want to be touched, how you want......to be loved, you're scared that is you tell him you will loose all the love he actually had for you.

Kyle, that's his name if you were curious. He's in my mind all the time and when I try to get him out, it only makes me think of him more, only makes me want to think about how I want his to hold me, to kiss me, to hug me, to tell me he would do anything for me, to love me...

Heh now that I write it down, now that I read the words that float around in my head all day, I sound selfish I sound like an attention slut

So this is why I can't tell him those things, because he will hate me, he will tell me that its over and that he can't be with a selfish attention whore.

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Hey peeps, Its Emily
thanks for reading my piece of shit romance play problems
anyways feel free to comment if you can relate or whatever.