BTS 8th Member Scenarios

Angst, Based off a true story :)

Since I've been having enough depressing and suicidal thoughts to fill a notebook cover to cover lately I thought I could pour some of them into this :)

Also this is pretty much based on my "friendship" with a person blinder that Stevie Wonder.

You see her walk by you everyday. Shes changes herself to make you happy but you just don't notice. She tries to talk to you, she tries to tell you what's wrong. You're just too stubborn to listen. It's only her anxiety that keeps her from telling you in person.

She spills her thoughts to you, telling you that she needs help over and over. She trusts you. Text after text, she tells you what's wrong, she tells you everything. You change the subject. You ignore everything she said.

Months later, she tells you again. She is more desperate for help. She needs you to support her and she tells you. You ignore it again. Change the subject again. Toss her problems out the window again.

Again, she tells you. She goes all out and says that you're the problem. She tries to get away from you but she can't. You're the reason she cuts herself. You;re the reason she cries herself to sleep. You're the reason her depression gets worse with every second that passes.

She knows that she's oversensitive and clingy. She changes her entire personality just so you won't get fed up with her and leave. She used to be happy, talkative, and she used to see everything in the best way possible. That was years ago.

As you two grew older together, she slowly became more isolated and quiet. She wasn't happy. She faked it in front of you. Her cries to you for help were all ignored. You just get annoyed. You tell her stop putting her problems on you. You yell at her for everything.

She's told you over and over that your criticism is why she can't smile. You throw it out, ignoring more of her cries.

Weeks after, she still talks to you. She still fakes a laugh and a smile. She still hasn't changed. She acts just the way you want her to. She stopped all physical contact with you. She stopped smiling whenever you weren't. She stopped telling jokes because to you, they were annoying.

She grew more and more distant, her sleeves got longer and longer, she didn't eat for days. You still either didn't notice or just didn't care.

Her entire life, she put you ahead of herself. She spends so much time trying to make you feel better that she never has any time for herself. Her own mother brushes off her problems.

She stays in her room all day. Her family says nothing. You say nothing. She hasn't talked to anyone but herself for a week.

She gave up on trying to be serious about her problems. Now, whenever she mentions it, she says it as a "joke" with a smile and a laugh.

You tell her she's fine. You tell her to get over it. She tries and tries but she just ends up with more fresh buts and more tears staining her cheeks.

It's because of you being so blind and an outright asshole that she contemplates suicide more and more. It's because of you that she learned how to cover it all up. It's because of you that she sits in her room every night crying.

She has dark circles under her eyes. She has panic attacks daily. She sees things that aren't there. Her ribs show all too easily. Her voice is quiet and weak, she keeps her mouth shut.

She helped everyone else. They were too stubborn to see it. They knew that she was hurting.

But only now do they realize what they all did to her. Now that she's gone. She left a note, the ink on the paper stained with her old tears and her family's new ones.

The thing that hurt the most was that it was all because of you. You didn't help her. You knew about all of it. You let her go on without helping. You were the last person she every talked to.

The last words she ever said to you were

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being clingy, annoying and oversensitive. I'm sorry for bothering you so much. I'm sorry that you had to deal with me. But I'm not sorry for saying goodbye. You told me to stop caring, so I did. You told me to stop being clingy, so I did. You told me to stop doing one thing until I was a completely different person. A person that you were actually happy to be around. I'm sorry that I couldn't be that person already.

Don't come to my grave saying you were sorry and that you should've done something. It won't help worth a shit. This all should've been said and done sooner. I'm sorry for wasting your time but I know that you sure as hell aren't sorry for wasting mine.

The thing about all of this is that this isn't even 1/4 of the thoughts I've had. Basically everything here happened in real life minus the suicide part. Have a nice day :)