Love Or Lust(Lesbian Story)

Part 20

Harmonys point of view

What have I done! I messed up! What was I supposed to do though?,I really love Jay,with all my heart but I'm just scared of my parents,she doesn't understand my situation because she doesn't know how rough my family can get.

Seeing the disappointment in her eyes nearly made me cry,my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when she stared at me. When she left,I wanted to go after her but my grandfather banged his hand on the table causing a deafening noise that immediately made me sit back down.

Oh Jay

I felt as if somehow I've lost her. I couldn't explain what I was feeling but it was definitely more than just heartbreak. I know I lied but I just wanted Jay to love me hard because I did, she's always spinning in my head day in and day out,there's nothing I can do about it.

"You're a lesbian!",he shouted making even my mother and grandmother mother jump in their seats. His voice instead of scaring me irritated the hell out of me,I just really hated him at this moment,I realised that what I did was seriously stupid and selfish.

Why should I continue camouflaging my feelings for Jay? A woman. Why was I so concerned about what they would think about my sexuality or anything that I did? I was an adult wasn't I? At this moment I really didn't care anymore.

I challenged his ruthless eyes and that caught him off guard a bit,"yes! ",I spat.

"I'm a lesbian,what are you gonna do about it? Kick me out? Go ahead, I'd rather live in the streets than be next to a judgemental bastard like you"

He sent my head flying with a slap and my mother and grandmother gasped,they sat down not saying anything. I expected them to lash out at me for what just happened but surprisingly they hadn't said anything.

Tears filled my eyes and I stood up wanting to leave their presence. My mother took my hand ,I looked at her and she told me to sit down so that we discuss what just happened as a family.

I sat down only because my mother had asked me to,otherwise I'd either have walked away or spoke my mind to this old man. I held my head in depression wondering how Jay is feeling right now. She's probably disappointed

Angry.

Heartbroken.

All because of me,I just wish I could undo everything I did,I just wish I told the truth from the beginning maybe this would have never happened. Jay left a few minutes ago but I already miss her,I want to be with her so badly.

I miss her smile.

I miss her hugs.

I miss her kisses.

I just need her right now,I sighed and kept quiet as my mother cleared her throat,"I suspected you were a lesbian",she confessed.

At this moment I really didn't care about what anyone said,I didn't care if they judged my feelings towards Jay. I didn't care anymore,I just wanted her,I didn't care whether they liked it or not. I planned on leaving after this discussion and heading over to her house.

I needed her to listen to me and let me explain,I knew what I did was wrong.

"If this is the life you have chosen then what can we do?",my mother continued. Did I just hear her right? Did she just literally give me a choice in the matter? A sense of appreciation dominated my heart. I would have never thought that my mother would soften up this much to me.

Now more than ever I felt her love. If someone loves you then they'll be forced to also love what you do,I knew my mother loved me now.

"Really?",I choked still digesting this information in. I felt another hand on my shoulder and it was my grandmother,she smiled warmly at me as if agreeing with what my mother had said,they both loved me. I now knew it.