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@jenntoday im sorry

my thumb hovered over the send button before i deleted the message and threw my phone to the side. groaning, i laid back on my bed, staring up at the popcorn tiled ceiling.

the last few days had been tough. i hadn't gone to school in a full week now. calum spent the night that night when he drove me home. and yes, we did stuff, but we didn't have sex. he almost... we almost-- before i burst out crying, and calum just held me the entire night. i liked calum, i always had. but i loved luke. at first i ignored the feeling, thinking it was just my deep appreciation for the aussie boy who had captured my heart since 2011. but now i knew i had actually loved him, and it was killing me. i needed to talk to him.

but i promised. i promised myself that i wouldn't. i wouldn't text him or call him, talk to him.

i'd had my fair share of tragic ex-boyfriends. i didn't need to hurt myself and for this to end in heartbreak. more than it already had.