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my knuckles collided with the wooden door. as expected, there was no answer. so i used the key. luke was all but surprised as i got there.

closing the door lightly behind me, i tossed the plastic key onto the counter.

he didn't even look up.

"hey," i said softly. luke shifted, rolling onto his side so he wasn't facing me. "luke."

"get out." his voice was so muffled and quiet that i barely heard him. but i did. i heard him. and i didn't leave.

"babe, please just look at me."

"get out," he said again, louder this time but still muffled in his pillow. sighing, i walked over to him, only for him to turn on his stomach and lay his face flat in his pillow. i rolled my eyes.

"you're really going to have a temper tantrum right now."

"sorry, i didn't realize you were the only one to act childish," he said, laying on his side but still not facing me. i scoffed.

"why did i even come here," i muttered, making my way to the door. before i could open it, i looked back, hoping he'd tell me to stop or come back or something. he didn't.

"luke," i said, breathing heavily. "please."

"please what, jenn?" he looked up at me. even in the moonlight, i could see how bloodshot his eyes were.

"just talk to me. anything."

"i am talking to you."

"fucking sit up and look at me, luke." i crossed my arms, clenching the room key in my hand and ignoring the stinging sensation it left.

"fine," he muttered, sitting up. he rested his head back against the headboard. "what now, jennifer?"

"if you're taking orders from me, then stand up and come here."

so he did. lazily, luke threw the covers off of himself and walked over to me. his hair was a mess, his eyes bloodshot and bags underneath, his lips were chapped, eyebrows unkempt and his nose was stuffed. he was dressed in nothing but sweats and he reeked. i didn't care though. he still looked perfect. but that was besides the point.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" i said, my voice much much louder than i'd expected it to be. "you had me worried sick! calum called me saying you were a fucking mess and i nearly thought you had killed yourself! this is so unlike you. even high out of your fucking mind on coke you acted better than this!"

then i realized his actions. he was fidgety, eyes darted everywhere but me and redder than when you were sleep deprived.

"fuck's sake. you're not seriously high right now!" i squeezed my eyes shut, taking a step back. "fuck!"

"i—"

"what the fuck, luke? what the fuck!" i screamed, pushing him back. since he was much larger than me, he only took a step back. "what, you're on crack? i can't believe you. this is not you luke."

"you don't get to tell me what is 'me' jenn!" he shouted back. "you barely even know me! you have no clue what it's like for me! okay? always pressured to be this fucking role model for kids. i'm sorry if i fuck up every now and then but i can't help it! and you're the one who fucked up, jenn. not just me!"

"h-how did i fuck up?"

"you fucking kissed my best friend, that's how!" he yelled, balling his fists in anger. he released them, running his hands down his face. "my god, are you really that naive? you and calum ruined me. you're the reason i relapsed! i was fine until a month ago!"