Yeesh.
It's been a hot minute since I've updated.
How are you guys?
-silence-
Yeah I'm talking to like two people.
Can you tell that I don't know what to talk about ?
My life is hella boring.
Um we can talk about my relationship.
Can you believe it? I'm still in one.
5 months so far.
And I really am happy. But I get worried easily.
I always think that I've done something wrong and I just act in a mean or bad way.
I can't help it, I'm always worried...
But I really shouldn't react that way.
And another thing is that I'm constantly talking about depression.
Like, I tell him
He's to good for me and all I do is hurt him or, you deserve better.
He'll reply with " you're the best, there is no better."
And it really makes my heart flutter.
CLICHE
Speaking of cliche let's talk about expectations .
I read fan fiction, this shouldn't be a shocker since I create fan fiction.
Well in fan fictions the guy is always so sweet and caring. Pretty much everything you'd want to happen, happens.
And now my expectations are super high.
And let me tell you, most of them are reached but when some aren't I get sad.
I need to realize that this is not a fan fiction. This is real.
Most guys aren't gonna do half the shit in those stories.
And when they don't, I shouldn't be surprised.
Because no one is perfect. No guy is gonna understand completely and gonna do everything you want him to.
Sometimes I think guys should read fan fictions so they can figure us out easier.
They say that we are hella complicated and that they don't get us... read fan fiction then you'll know what we want.
But then again I don't want a guy to change for me.
I will need to learn to like them, they shouldn't have to change themselves in order to make me happy.
They should be themselves.
Okay, so maybe I do have stuff to talk about.
Before I go on and on I'm just gonna end it. And I'm gonna try to update more... like every week. Maybe on Tuesdays or Saturdays. I don't know yet.
Well, this is goodbye for now my lovelies.
