Like I Do (Star Darlings Fanfiction)

Chapter 28 A New Hypothesis

Sage and Cassie ate their dinner together while Adora sat at the table with them. Sage and Cassie were there because Lady Stella had told Cassie she could go in late if she didn't want to have to see anybody. Adora was there because she was studying. 

She was studying Cassie. 

Cassie sat quietly eating the strange soup the BotBot servant brought Cassie. She didn't order anything, it just brought it to her but she didn't want to question it. Soup felt nice in her stomach, she hadn't eaten a full meal in two weeks. She was only eating small snacks and lemonade like canned drinks that MOJ4 was bringing her upon request. 

Adora was examining Cassie as she ate, studying how she was acting and the way her hands were shaking. Anytime a noise would come from any direction Cassie would turn her head. Not necessarily always to where the sound was coming from. "Strange..." Adora also took note that Cassie was completely unaware that there was this unbearable weight of scepticism happening around her. She really thought the situation was done once her and Cassie came to the revelation that Cassie wasn't penetrated. She understood after an embarrassingly long amount of time now that there was more to this than just penetration. 

Adora recapped in her mind to make sure she had the previous theories and the timeline down. 

First time around, according to rumours, Cassie and Libby went to New Prism together and had to stay overnight because Cassie fell asleep in some guys hotel room and came home in his clothes, got super embarrassed about it and the fact that it hurt and hid in her room and somehow got away with it. 

Then Scarlet got involved in what Starlings were saying and suddenly the story took a turn. Instead, Cassie was raped at New Prism and it really upset her.  Everybody had their own version of what "rape" was. Most of them used Scarlet's description "She's probably in her room recovering from how much it hurt her." and came to their own conclusions that meant rape was just really painful sex. 

There was more to this than Cassie just not enjoying sex. The emotional depth that seemed to be consuming her and the lasting effects was beyond anything Adora had experienced after her own first sexual encounter with a man. Adora winced at the fact she thought she could compare breaking a dry hymen to breaking an entire Starling.  

When first uncovering something, Adora knows you should have a hypothesis, but also understand your hypothesis could be wrong so she wasn't too torn up about it. Now she had a new hypothesis, an Emotional Angle. 

"...doesn't she think that's weird?" asked Sage.

Adora then realized Sage was talking to her the whole time but didn't hear a word she said. So she gave Sage a smile. Sage knew Adora wasn't actually listening, she just liked someone acknowledging her ramblings.  Adora kept watching Cassie, who finally noticed Adora staring. 

"...What?" Cassie asked, awkwardly looking around. Adora looked at her shaking hand struggling to hold the spoon. "Are you cold?" Adora asked, almost hoping she would say yes. Both because she'd like an excuse to design a new coat and because something about it is because of that was... calming to her? 

"No, I just shake sometimes," Cassie awkwardly laughed, "I think it's because I haven't been sleeping or something." 

Adora knew, biologically, there had to be a million reasons.  Too little or too high blood pressure, her recent eating habits, even her excuse of it being from a lack of sleep checked out. Adora then had to stop and remind herself that she was examining for something else. She then decided to stop examining Cassie so obviously and pulled out her StarZap and started a download for a children's dress up App. She wasn't actually going to play it, she just wanted the engine so she could make her own mods and dresses to help her design the silk pyjamas she had planned out. She eavesdropped and watched from the corner of her eye.  

"Cassie, did Lady Stella say if we could sleep in the same room again or not?" Sage asked. 

"No, it's just a weekend and last night thing..." Cassie quietly answered from behind her bowl. 

"Starf, will you be okay tonight then?" Sage asked while leaning in for a hug making Cassie leaned away and bump into Adora from the side. Feeling the unexpected contact made Cassie jump. A tiny sound left her and she swung her head around in fear to see who she just bumped into. With panic Cassie's brain scrambled through the Starlings she knew that wore this much blue. Adora closed her app before finally looking back at Cassie, "Hey, don't worry about it." 

It sounded too much like somebody doing a perfect impression of Adora for Cassie's liking, making her even more unsure of what was happening right now. Her eyes rapidly looked around and she saw the Mess Hell door being propped open just wide enough for her to immediately escape with a decorative rock. Cassie looked back to who she bumped into and saw that it was Adora. 

"I-I'm sorry," Cassie muttered. 

"Nah, I don't really like being touched either." Adora tried to defuse it, but Sage didn't seem to want to. 

"She was cuddly before, I don't know." Sage shrugged and as she spoke, instead of the dismissive sarcasm she would usually do, she instead sounded really frustrated. It gave Cassie a sharp pain in her chest that seemed to move out like ripples in the water and cover her whole body with a horrible feeling. A pain she never felt before, another pain she never expected she would know. 

"I-... I'm sorry, just not right now... I don't know..." Cassie quietly muttered, trying her best to hide how she was feeling. Adora took note of how this too. The situation wasn't just negatively affecting Cassie, but it's even changed a part of Sage. It changed a part of Astra, Gemma, everyone who learned about what happened who shared their own personal and private relationships with Cassie. Whether it be just from seeing her every morning at the same lunch table, or being so close you'd seem like borderline lovers, it was those Starlings who changed. 

Cassie didn't have many friends anymore. Is that why this was being treated so small? Or was it being treated this small for some other reason? Adora wanted more answers. And that's when Adora realized how she changed. She criticized Sage for suggesting her and Cassie should become friends, and Adora told her she didn't want a horrible event to be the reason she starts hanging out with Cassie. 

But now she's seen more of Cassie than she has since the fight with Lady Rancora. A crisis brought them all together again it seemed. Adora refused to interpret it as a good thing. Knowing just being able to hang out with Starlings couldn't justify the horrific display she just saw, caused simply by Cassie accidentally bumping into her.