Like I Do (Star Darlings Fanfiction)

Chapter 29 Reading and Dancing

Piano music gently played in the common room as Libby practised her ballet. Adora sat on one of the sofas, leaning against a pink heart pillow reading an old book. One could tell it was old because it was made out of paper instead of it being a holobook. It was one of the books on a Starlings female anatomy while going through puberty. Ever since her conversation with Cassie, she realized there was a kind of science she knew so little about. And it had to do with her own body.

She remembered, with remorse, that she considered she was raped as well, solely because she was coming up with her own theories, her own definitions and her own assumptions. The only information Adora had about rape that was known right now by everyone was that it hurt. Adora knew now after seeing the emotional trauma it left Cassie in that there was something more emotional to it. Yet when she opened up her books to find out more about her own anatomy, she found out more about the very act of intercourse itself.

The books spoke about the dangers of sex, such as STI's, STD's, HPV and the classic pregnancy horror show the books liked to put on to differ kids from having sex too young. This made Adora roll her eyes since she remembers having sex pretty young. In fact, most of the other girls her age lost their virginity at young ages, usually with their first boyfriends. Adora remembered sex being hyped up so much that the risks just didn't matter. Then once she had it once it almost felt like a betrayal by the media, so she decided to never have it again. 

Nothing in the books she read about talked about emotions at all.  None of them mentioned the rumour that you need to be in love to have it. None of the books talked about how amazing an orgasm feels, it only explained how the nerves functioned and react. 

Adora looked up to Libby, who was younger than her. She was dancing gently with a smile and her eyes closed. Adora smiled and enjoyed the soft piano music playing from her StarZap. Once the music stopped she did a scowl, Libby immediately held her abdominal and leaned over, letting out a deep groan. Adora laughed, "Same."

"I started this morning," Libby said half out of breath, "I was wearing my white panties of course."

"I can get that out with cold water," Adora said with a chuckle.

"Is it weird to be jealous of girls who pms? I'd like some warning signs..." Libby rubbed her stomach a few more times, then let out a defeated sigh once the piano music on her StarZap picked up again and she began to do the same dance routine again. Only this time a little more perfect choreography wise, but her smile was more forced.

"I can usually tell a week in advance, my breast swells up to another cup size then it's basically a game of chance for a few days. Are your periods irregular?" Adora asked while flipping another page and was met with a diagram of the inside of the male genitalia and studied it like it was nothing. Libby noticed and went through lengths not to look at the page as she practised but you wouldn't hear her embarrassment in her voice, "Nope, sometimes I'll go a month without a period, sometimes I'll have two in one month."

"Yikes, must give you a lot of pregnancy scares." Adora laughed. Libby let out a frustrated sigh and stopped dancing for a second, "I would so appreciate it if Starlings would stop just assuming I'm sexually active."

"You're not?" Adora asked.

"Starf, I wish" both of the girls laughed, "but I think everyone here forgets that there are only girls here. I was honestly hoping to get some when I was in New Prism a few weeks ago," Libby's cramps won and she turned off her music and turned to Adora, "but Ganymede totally bailed. Can't believe Cassie's the one who ended up losing her virginity."

"She didn't though, didn't she tell you? She wasn't actually penetrated." Adora corrected her. Libby's eyes widened, "What?! She was lying then?" 

Adora couldn't help but make a face, realizing it was there again. 

"She wasn't lying, there was just a misunderstanding cause of what Scarlet was saying." Adora corrected again. 

"When did you find this out, who did you hear this from?" Libby asked, still seeming sceptical. 

"I wanted to go talk to Cassie about something private and I guess I was able to get what actually happened to her out of her easier." Adora shrugged, "Scarlet was probably hounding her for answers and she freaked out." 

"So she told you something different than she told Scarlet?" Libby asked, still really confused by this new information. 

"Oh my Stars, Libby, just go ask her yourself." Adora was tired of this conversation because she knew no matter what she said she wasn't going to get anywhere. Normally she would have more patience, but not today. Not this time of the month. Adora cleared her throat when she realized she just snapped a little, "Anyway, are you done practising?" 

Libby did a final stretch and let her body slump over a little. She lazily walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Adora, who scooted away a little bit. "Oh sorry, I'm all sweaty..." Libby wiped her brow, causing a little twinkle to shine out of her skin. There was a little swoosh noise and Adora and Libby turned their head to see Sage coming in with both Cassie and Piper. Cassie was between them both, each holding one of Cassie's hands. Cassie seemed to be in some kind of sedated state under Piper's overwhelming serenity. She didn't look doped up, she just seemed extremely melancholy and half asleep. 

Piper's deep blue glow was absorbing both Cassie and Sage. Upon recognizing the two other Starlings in the room, Piper's glow turned from a deep blue to her normal minty green colour. The second the colour changes in Piper's glow, the effects on Cassie changed, and her eyes immediately focused again. 

"Oh, Starnight, girls! We were all going to meditate in Cassie's room, would you like to join us?" Piper asked with a smile. Libby got up, "I gotta shower before bed, we only have a star hour or two left." She grabbed her things as Adora started collecting her stuff as well. Adora flung her bookbag over her shoulder, "Maybe another time." 

"Of course, namaste." Piper did a tiny bow and drew a strange symbol in the air with her finger. Nobody really knew what it meant but trusted it meant something peaceful or spiritual. Piper walked towards Cassie's room, almost as if leading a train of Starlings. As they walked into Cassie's room Adora watched. Once they all went into the room she saw Cassie quickly come up to the open doorway and look around for something. 

"Missing something?" Adora asked, 

"Uh... something to prop the door open with..." Cassie said quietly as she kept scanning the room. Adora handed her the book on female anatomy and biology. "Here, don't bother giving it back when you're done just give it to the library, kay?" Adora asked. 

Cassie held the book in her hand, a familiar feeling she hasn't felt in a while. Once upon a time, the second a book was in her hand she would've broken it open and had it read by the end of the night. Instead, she felt nothing. No urge to read because the idea of doing that just didn't sound like fun to her. As most things did. She thanked Adora and quickly went back to her room after putting the book down to prop it open.