He Was Not My Style ♡ [COMPLETED]

Chapter 14 - I'm in a state of mind no one can bring me out off

A.N. Hey ya all. How's ya all doing? I know it's been long and I don't want to bore you all with my author's note. So here you go enjoy the chapter and don't forget to read the A.N. At the last. Enjoy.

Chapter - 14 I'm in the state of mind no one can bring me out off

Do you know that feeling when you're body is too numb to everything around you? You just wanna go to sleep and never wake up to this shit life of yours. If not then your lucky enough but if yes then you know how I'm feeling right now.

It's been one week since I found out Chase found his true mate. One week of me drowning in my sad world. One week of sleepless nights and my constant crying. One week of me not communicating with anyone or even acknowledging my friends.

Dad also found out about Chase's mate and the first thing he asks me is Is it true or not? Not how I'm feeling with all of this not how I'm dealing with my feeling. All he asks is Is it true or not? I didn't bother replying to him I just nodded my head and he was out of my room right after my answer. I bet all he is worried about is the Luna title that was supposed to be mine and not about his daughter's state.

Ari and Paree both have been calling me nonstop since they also found out about Chase's mate but I've been too absorbed in my own that their presence was not one of my priority at the moment. I didn't have courage to face anyone at all. I didn't want to go out because I might hear or see the things that I don't want to. And I don't if my heart is strong enough to take it.

So All I've been doing all this one freaking week in lying in my bed thinking of all the moments I spent with Chase and the pain of not having him around me. His smiles face his words keep replaying in my head. But also after all of thinking about Chase my mind also somehow ended up with Noah. He was innocent in all of this yet he ended up hurt just because he got a mate like me. It was not the feeling I got when we had the bond but rather the feeling of my guilt. And trust me when I say this the feeling of guilt is not what you wanna live with. Feeling of guilt is very strong and you just wanna somehow made things all right just so you can end up feeling guilty.

I was in a state of mind no one can bring me out off. I wanted to numb the pain that was in my heart. I somehow wanted to forget all about Chase, his constant memories that keeps playing in my head. I wanted to forget everything that ever reminded of him. His face his smiles the things he did for me and the words he said to me.

I was in my bathroom sink with a silver blade in my left hand. I could see my reflection in the mirror and it was not how I used to be my eyes were lifeless , my skin paler than its usual color and my hair were messy. This was so not the person I used to be. How come I became like this. I couldn't stop the tears that were falling down. I gripped the blade that was on my hand tightly. It would be so much easier if I just forget about all this. It would be easier if I just end my life than to live with this pain of not having Chase by my side was my last thought before the I cut through my wrist deep. Blood were pouring out of it. My body was numbing out of consciousness with the amount of blood that was pouring out of my cut. Finally I was relieved to know that I'll no longer feel the pain that was in my heart. And then I blacked out to the deep sleep of mine.

A.N.: I know my chapters are getting a bit depressing and sad but you never imagine how much hurt Paris is. And Paris cut her wrist because she no longer wanted to bear the pain and this was what she thought was easy than to live with the pain. And self harming is not what I think is right thing to do. I know people goes through a lot in their life's and they think ending their life is whats best for them but let me tell you all this it is not no matter what you get through in your life its how you overcome all the struggles and trouble in your life makes you stronger and your life worth living. Best wishes to you all.

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