When God Made You

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sunday morning my usual schedule, after making sure that my mother gets her medicine I hug her goodbye and went to my favorite historical church the Sto. Niño de Cebu. In front near the altar bending my knees with my hands on the front, I close my eyes and putting myself in the presence of God I silently and heartily praying all my intent.

Meanwhile with Mike…

Struck in a traffic on my way to our old house a slight accident happen, a white Innova bump a motorcycle parked beside the road and both owners engage in a verbal fight and people also gathers around, since its Sunday no traffic enforcer to settle.

I look around on my left I’ve seen vendors selling flowers, and on my right I saw many people entering the gate and selling candles and garlands of Sampaguita flowers, I am beside a church, the Sto. Niño. My grandmother is a devotee of this church; I remember every year before granny could not be able to travel; she always comes back from New York just to attend the Sinulog Festival to join the parade bringing her small statue dress in red with gold lining and with golden and crown and scepter, together with my parents we happily join granny ignoring the heat of the sun it doesn’t matter as long as you are with the ones you love. But all was just a memory of the past before I have the so called family. I close my eyes trying to calm down myself stopping the tears trying to escape from my eyes and the different emotions hidden just waiting to be awaken, pain, hatred and questions left unanswered.

It’s been 21 years now I haven’t heard any news from the person who have given birth to me. After she left when I was still 8 years old with only one word “I love you Mickey.” She kissed me crying, and then left, I asked her where she is going but she didn’t answer. After that she’s lost even her shadow never found. Three months after, father died due to heart attack as what granny said but I know she just said it that way but actually it was a suicide, a medicine overdose. Before that tragedy I sneak into the masters’ bedroom to check on my father, he always at the window looking at the gate seems waiting for someone, holding a glass and a bottle of whiskey beside the end table. He often refuses to eat and when he sees me beside the ajar door he just stares at me blankly with no utter word then turning back again staring outside, he also forgotten me as much as he forgot himself  and Granny.

Granny took me to New York where I grow up. Where my only families are friends who are also a broken family, parents are divorced or like me, only living with their relatives. I grow up with them because we shared the same sentiments afraid of responsibilities and just want to leave on our own. We went to places just to escape the reality sometimes. Even though I was love by my grandmother but not enough. I long the hug of a mother yet vanished with sudden anger when I remember what happened. Just like today.

I was startled when someone knocking on the window of my car, on my right. A kid offers me to buy a candle. But the cars started to resume so I ignored the kid and go ahead to where I am going. However I change my mind instead of going to that house where we use to leave with my parents I went to the riverside where I used to play when I was a kid. There I can take photos and forget the past for the meantime and the work prepared for me tomorrow.

After arriving, I step out the car; it’s the same place as I left. “Aaaahhhhh The fresh air. I thought it was affected by the ongoing enhancement of the City. But the place is still amazing.” I started taking pictures from my Canon camera hanged on my neck. I walk a little bit more and seen some women washing clothes and the children happily splashing water at each other. I snap and click my camera and watch it again from the small screen. “This is nice.” I turn my camera off and look around I caught myself smiling. Then someone from behind called, “Maaaarrrrra I brought you lunch.” The woman smile brightly while the kids are happily run wild to the man who is now handling over the bag to his wife I suppose. The man is about 5’2” tall, tanned skin, thin looking and bald, turn to me and stares, I can read from the expression of his face that he is asking who I am then his face lighten, smiles, and slowly walking on my direction. And suddenly ask,”Mike? Is that really you?”, while looking at me from head to toe and back and forth. And I was stunned, and when he is close I notice the scar on his left face it’s the same scar my childhood friend Toto has. So I said in doubtful tone “Toto?”. He smiles even brightly as I called him and hug me, so it must be Toto so I hug him back. “Fool, how couldn’t you recognize me? You just left and you have forgotten me already?” Toto said after the tight close hug. “Look at you? You look a girl’s magnet now.” He added and we both burst out in laughter. Toto offered me to be in his house to catch up after introduces me to his wife and kids. This will be a long chit chat.

 Back to Alexa…

After the mass I lighted up 4 candles, one for me, my mother, my sister and my grandmother which represents every request I have for each one of us. Checking the clock it’s almost 11:00 o’clock in the afternoon I have to hurry, the wedding reception starts at exactly 12 noon where I’m one of the assistant for my very good friend which is the owner of La Cornella catering service. Life is difficult, although I have a good boss Mr. Vic Mc Kenzie I owe him much already and Ryan too, and this is the least thing I could do in order to pay Ryan little by little through assisting his business. I was there when Ryan started his business I hadn’t put profit in it but I have seen his hard work and dedication. He is also a responsible man also takes good care and a breadwinner of his family. He is close with my siblings too; he treated my family like one of his own. My mother and Mandy often teases about us, but actually we are really just purely friends.

At the hotel where the reception is held I was already dressed in white same as the other server. The program has started long before I arrive. The bride looks stunning in her white halter wedding dress it’s simple but elegant, their motif is bright red and the groom is dress in tuxedo with red ribbon tie. They look happy, all smiles to everyone who congratulated them and sometimes they whisper to each other’s ear.  They look cute. It makes me wonder to what it feels like to be the bride. I am silently laughing myself because a week ago I don’t want to get married but now..hahaha. It’s like gush Alexa, what are you thinking right now? I was startled by a tap of my right shoulder. “Hey Lex, you’re late and…. I caught you smiling. You can share it with me you know or you’re daydreaming again?” Ryan asked and flashing his cute little smile. Ryan always caught me like this, and sometimes caught talking to myself. At times I actually say what’s in my mind. I get trouble by it sometimes. I laugh hearing by it from Ryan. “Be use to it boss  and beside you should be busy making sure that everything is organize than to disturb someone’s fantasy?” my only reply to him. He smile and says, “Have you forgotten Miss Alexandra Soria that I am your boss and I also have to make sure that all of my employee is working and not just daydreaming?” We both laugh he has a point though and we stop when we heard that the emcee announce that the food well be served.

I’m exhausted when I reached home but seeing my mother’s smile there is no place to put my happiness with. Like a mother seeing her child after a long day from work.

Authors note:

A nice quote below:

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. ~ Dorothy Fisher