Lost in his Fantasy

Chapter 1

Rule #1
Release

Vesper's POV
"My God Vesper. I'll just go with my friends. Stop owning my life. I have choices on my own that you don't have to interfere." She continuously nagged while getting her stuffs fixed.

Palagi nalang kaming ganito. Pag nag-aaway kami lagi nya nalang nililigpit ang mga gamit nya. Lagi nalang syang nagbabadyang umalis. Minsan nasasanay na ako pero hindi ko sya kayang mawala.

"Look babe,it's our 5th anniversary. Hindi ba pwedeng gumimik nalang kayo bukas o sa mga susunod na araw? Kailangan ba talaga ngayon? Hindi ba makakapaghintay yan? Gabi-gabi na nga kayong gumigimik pati ba naman ngayon hindi mo kayang papalampasin?" I spoke my heart out. Hindi naman kasi kailangan lagi ko nalang syang hayaan sa gusto nya. I also need her time. I also need her.

"I'm just going to be there for a couple of hours I won't go home late. Ano bang ikinagagalit mo?" Naiinis nyang sagot sabay sabunot sa buhok nya.

Napakainsensitive naman. Anniversary natin to Jia. 5th anniversary to be exact.

Gustong gusto ko syang sigawan dahil maliban sa hindi nya na nga nagawang bumati, nagawa nya pang makipag-away. Nakakapagod na yung lagi nalang ganito. Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako at hinawakan sya sa braso nang akmang aalis na sya dala ang kanyang maleta.

"Sorry na babe, let's end this. Kasalanan ko na." I put an end to this argument of ours but it seems like I was wrong at making that decision.

Binawi nya ang kanyang braso sa aking pagkakahawak at tinitigan ako ng diretso sa aking mga mata.

"Yes you're right. Let's end this." Huling banat nya bago sya tuluyang lumabas sa aming pintuan.

I followed her until she reached the garage where her Mercedes Benz was parked. But instead,she put a life to its engine and started drifting away.

Happy 5th anniversary Broken heart.

We were never like this. I can't remember the exact day when we're still not like this but I know there's that day. I just can't remember when.

She was once my poetry. Seems like every word I speak was meant for her to hear. All the stars sparkling in unison above that dark coated night sky were made to be compared to her eyes. It seems like the 8 colors of a rainbow was meant to be 4 which means forever.

I always thought she's my heroine but ended up realizing I'm just a man who's hands are still tied to his Kryptonite.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pwedeng panglanggas sa kasalukuyang sugatan kong puso. But one thing is certain, I'll never beg for her to come back. If she wants to leave, then so be it. Yes, I know it will still hurt but I can get through this soon I know.

How to move on? Rule number one. One tormented heart is enough to stop the illusion of forever. Never step on the same rake twice.

Averic's POV
I grated more cheese. Maybe it'll make my baked mac creamier. I sliced another onion thinking that it'll make my spaghetti better. But instead,nasugtan lang ako. Nasugatan ako nang pangit padin yung lasa ng niluluto ko.

"Are you sure you can cook?" He asked in a tone full of doubt and concern.

"Yes I can, I'm fine. Just sit back and relax. Watch me get through this. Sabay tayong kakain." I confirmed while stopping my tears to flow.

I'm aware about the fact that I really suck when it comes to cooking. But I want to try. Para kasing ibang iba na kami nitong mga nakaraang araw. Gabi na sya masyadong umuuwi. Amoy babae minsan, minsan naman amoy alak. I know he's been with girls the night after. How did I knew? Of course I will. Hindi ako tanga.

"You know, we can just order. Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili mo Averic." He suggested.

"Hindi, kaya ko to." I answered Continuing what I've started.

Hindi na sya umimik at tiningnan lang ako. Pinagpatuloy ko naman ang ginagawa ko hanggang sa nakaapak ako ng tubig mula sa tiles naming sahig dahilan upang madulas ako habang dala dala ang spaghetting niluluto ko.

Natigilan ako. Nakasalampak kong pinulot ang natapong niluto. Sayang, pinaghirapan ko ito. Kung hindi sya kakain, edi ako nalang.

Hindi ko na naiwasan ang mga nagbabadyang luha ko habang pinupulot ang spaghetti na sinayang ko.

At first, he just stared at me doing my thing but ended up helping me fix the mess that I've cause.

"Baby, I can help if you want me to. Just don't force yourself to do the things you're not good at." He said habang inaalalayan akong tumayo.

I continued crying as he lead my way to the couch. A moment of silence crept between the spaces of us until I decided to shoo away the creeping silence.

"I-I know you're not going to have your business appointment on USA." Panimula ko.

Napatingin sya sa akin na sya rin namang hindi ko binigyan ng pansin.

"You know Elias, if this will no longer work. We can just stop here." Yumuko ako at umiyak.

He leaned closer to reach my shoulder and hug me. I hugged him back while crying endlessly.

Bakit ang sakit? Ayokong marinig ang mga salitang "ayaw ko na" galing sa kanya. Pero ayokong manghula. Ayokong makipagtagu-taguan ng nararamdaman dahil alam ko namang matatalo din ako along the way.

"I guess I have to tell you then." Panimula nya kasabay ng isang malalim na buntong hininga.

"Nakabuntis ako Averic." He answered directly.

"She's a girl I met in the club last month. We made love at hindi ko inaasahang may mabubuo pala." Dagdag nya pa.

Parang gumuho ang mundo ko sa narinig. Mas lalo lang dumami ang mga nagbabadyang luha sa aking mga mata. Bakit? Hindi ba ako enough sa kanya? After almost 5 years? Nagawa nya pang maghanap ng iba? Ganun na ba talaga ako kaboring?

"I wanted to tell you so bad but I'm afraid. Ayokong saktan ka Baby." Sagot nya sabay kalas mula sa pagkakayakap nya sa akin.

Tumayo ako sa couch at tumakbo papunta sa kwarto namin para iligpit yung mga gamit ko. Uuwi nalang ako sa amin.

Matapos kong ayusin ang mga gamit ko, agad akong bumaba. Sinalubong naman ako ni Elias upang humingi ng tawad. But, the wound he just left me by saying that is just too deep. Masyadong masakit para magpatawad agad. I gave everything I have. Pero kulang pa pala.

Iniwan ko sya sa loob ng bahay at umiiyak na tinungo ang aking sasakyan na nasa garahe.

Maybe some people would say dapat tinanggap ko sya kasi kahit may anak sya sa iba, sa akin pa din naman sya umuuwi. If you're on my position, you'll never happen to like it.Trust me.

I've been so good to him na kahit alam kong nambababae sya, nagwalang kibo ako. Kahit na alam kong minsan, nagsisinungaling na sya, naniniwala padin ako. Kahit minsan nagmumukha nakong tanga pinipilit ko pading maging okay para lang maging okay kami palagi.

I no longer know what to do. But you know what's certain? I'll never lose my self-worth again. Not again not ever.

How to move on? Rule number one. Before giving everything, make sure to leave yourself something. Not everyone you choose will choose you over lust.