The Problem with Patrick || Fall Out Boy

its never getting any better than this

When band practice was all said and done, and Andy and Joe had left the basement and all that was left was Pete and Patrick in a room full of instruments, Pete walked over to the empty fridge and frowned.

"I'm assuming you know where all the beer went?" He glanced up at Patrick, trying not to be accusational and failing miserably.

Patrick's shoulders slumped and he sighed. "I-I'm sorry, Pete, I'll pay for it, and I won't do it again, I promise."

"It's not about the money, Patrick, we both know that." The taller man ran a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh.

The cold sweat returned, and Patrick dragged himself over to the fridge to stare at the empty shelves. 2 cartons, was it, that Pete had said? That particular beer came in cartons of 48. So that meant that over, what was it, about 3 weeks now, Patrick had drunk 93 bottles of beer. And that meant that it was averaging 31 or so bottles a week, or more depressingly, Patrick had drunk an average of just over 4 beers a night when he was meant to be having zero.

Pete, who had seemed to also have worked out the math, sighed as well. "Shit, Patrick..."

Despite there probably being a better way to deal with his emotions in that point in time, Patrick just started crying. It wasn't really because he was sad that he drank the beer. He didn't really care about that. In the moment, it was what he felt he needed to get himself to sleep. Alcohol scared the demons away for the night. He couldn't imagine where he'd be right now if he hadn't had those drinks. He probably wouldn't have slept for the entire 3 weeks he'd stayed at Pete's place. More so Patrick cried because he knew he was a disappointment to his friend. He'd hurt the person who had opening his home and his heart to him and Patrick had pretty much gone and done the only thing that Pete had asked him not to.

He was a terrible singer, a terrible friend, and overall, a terrible person.

Pete stood there for a second, contemplating what to do, before giving in with a sigh and wrapping Patrick in a warm hug. "Hey, look, it's all gonna be alright, yeah? I'm not mad, it's all good."

Patrick didn't say anything, but did accept the hug and put his arms around Pete. That took Pete by surprise, but not a bad way. Despite the awkward situation, both of them enjoyed the warmth and security this impromptu hug offered them.

"Maybe this is good?" Pete offered after a couple of minutes. "It's all gone now, there's no temptations, nothing at all. It'll be easier than ever now."

Patrick sniffled and pulled away from the hug. "I c-can't sleep without it, Pete."

"What?"

"L-Like, I-I-I'd..." He trailed off, guilt sinking in again before he willed himself to keep going. This was stupid, and he knew how guilty he was, but he needed to be honest or Pete would never forgive him. "I-I'd have t-to wait until y-you were sleeping before c-coming down because if I d-didn't, t-then, t-then, I just, I wouldn't l-let myself sleep, y-y'know? L-like I couldn't, I-I'd just-"

Patrick didn't know how to explain 'I'd just torture myself with my own thoughts of inadequacy for hours on end and keep myself awake' without sounding like some kind of bumbling idiot. He just hoped Pete got the message.

"I know what it's like to feel like that." Pete gently put a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "I know it felt like the only way, but there's others. If you're ever stuck in a situation like that, just wake me up, okay? I won't be annoyed, I won't be angry or anything, I'm happy to sit up as long as you need. We can talk if you want, or just, watch TV together or something, I don't know, but eventually the feelings pass and you can sleep."

"I d-don't want to rob you of your sleep, i-it's bad enough one of us isn't getting enough. W-Why do you think I nap all the time?" Patrick asked nervously. It was a kind offer, but he knew how bad he would feel waking anyone up.

"But the thing is, you won't be robbing me of sleep. Because we'll both end up with a few decent hours, and besides, a few hours of quality sleep where I know you're sleeping is far better than no sleep because I'm up worrying about you."

Patrick's cheeks flushed pink as Pete mentioned this, and Pete smiled slightly. "So no more nightcaps, just, let me be your nightcap instead. And then we'll both be able to get a good night's sleep. Together."

"Together."

"Yeah, together."

Patrick nodded and smiled slightly, before glancing back down at his toes and reaching for his wallet, before handing Pete a couple of bills. "T-That's just for the beer."

"I'm not taking the money, Patrick."

Patrick just opened the fridge and put the money inside, before smiling mischievously and heading back upstairs. "It's yours now, Pete."

"Patrick!" Pete laughed, taking the light side of the situation. It was good to go back to that after that moment of seriousness. That was something the two both loved about their friendship. No matter how dark the times, no matter how serious, they could always brush it off and have a laugh, to just be buddies.

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Pete wasn't sure what time it was, but it was certainly the middle of the night when the door creaked open and another body slumped onto the bed beside him. The person grabbed the pillow and hugged it tightly, and Pete swore he heard him sob.

"Patrick?" He mumbled sleepily, rolling over to try and see his friend, but Patrick had rolled over as well and was looking in the other direction, seemingly very tense.

There was no response from Patrick, who was trying to follow his friend's instructions without being intrusive. He just squeezed the pillow tight and tried not to think about the bad things that had been tormenting him back in the spare bedroom he'd been staying in. That led to the second sob he let out accidently.

"Patrick? Are you okay?" Pete asked again, propping himself up on his arms as he grew more concerned.

Patrick didn't really see a point in lying now, Pete knew he was crying. "N-No."

"You wanna talk about it?" Pete offered.

"N-No."

"Okay..." Pete switched his lamp on. "Water? TV? Can I do anything?"

"J-Just sleep, Pete." Patrick whispered harshly, despite the tremor in his voice giving his teary state away clearly.

Pete was taken aback a little bit, but nodded. He laid down, flicked the lamp back off, and just listened in silence as his friend cried himself to sleep.