Her Blue Eyes

6: Idiotic Boyfriends (AKA Depression)

I take a step back as Paul towered over me. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and growled. "Why shouldn't I squash you on the spot?" he asked. I looked around for an answer then remembered that my dad comes home at around this time. "Because if you stay any longer then my dad will kick your ass." I said while smirking. My dad's car pulled up the driveway and he stopped the car. He opened his car door and jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut. I looked at my dad then looked back at Paul and smiled. My dad jogged over to us. "Do we have a problem?" he asked. Paul looked at me then looked back at my dad then let go of me. "No sir. No problem here." Paul said. He turned around then grabbed Kat's wrist which made her gasp in pain. I grabbed Paul's hood and pulled him back. He let go of Kat and looked at me irritated.  "Now what was that for?" Paul asked sounding very irritated. "I don't want you to touch her." I said firmly. He looked at me and laughed. "You can't tell me what to do." Paul said with a smile on his face. My dad walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "But I can." my dad said. Paul looked at my dad and his smile faded. He then looked at me and growled. He turned around and got into his car and drove away. I hear thunder crack in the sky and I see Kat jump a little from fright. She looks at me and smiles slightly. "I guess I'm staying at your place for the night..." she said. Cold rain drops came out of nowhere and started pouring. "Come on let's go inside before we freeze." My dad said. I look at my dad and he takes his hand off of my shoulder and nods his head to Kat then turns around and walks inside. I look at Kat and walk over to her. "Why did it hurt when he grabbed your arm?" I asked. "He had a tight grip." she said while looking down at the ground. "His grip wasn't that tight when he grabbed onto the collar of my shirt. Are you sure that's the reason?" I asked, knowing that that wasn't the real reason why it hurt when he grabbed her wrist. She lifted her arm and took her hand and moved the sleeve of her sweater up to her elbow as tears streamed down her face. I look at her face then look at her wrist and see dead and faded scars then newly opened cuts. I stare not knowing what to say. I stare at her arm and she starts to tremble from pain and sadness and fear of what I'm going to do and what I'm going to say. "I know I'm stupid..." she managed to say through gasps of air from crying. "I know I should stop but I can't...". Her sobs are the one thing that is louder than the rain pounding on the echoing of my empty head that can't think of a single thing to do. I just stare. I feel tears form in my eyes and I don't think my brain even knows what is going on but just knows that I should feel bad. "I know that I should be happy... but I can't be... no matter what I do no matter what I change... I'm still never good enough... to anyone..." she says as her voice cracks. I feel as if there's a fire in my throat from the anxiety and sadness that is in the atmosphere. "It's not that I don't want to be happy..." she says. "It's a despite, how hard I try I can't bring myself to be happy. I feel suffocated, embarrassed, ashamed. Why did I have to be this way?" she asked. I look at her face and she looks at me. She pulls her sleeve down and covers her wrist. I hug her and she hugs me back tightly and it's as if she never wants to let go. "Your not stupid. You don't need to change anything because you are perfect to me. And that's all that you need. You don't need to feel suffocated, embarrassed, or ashamed. All you need is one person that loves you for who you are..." I paused. "...All that you need is a non-idiotic boyfriend and that's hard to find because all guys are stupid." I said as tears rolled down my face. She looked up at me and laughed. "Your not stupid." she said. "Yeah I am." I said. She smiled and her eyes are soft and sad but suddenly I see a small flicker of happiness in her eyes. It disappears as soon as it appeared. The rain starts pounding harder and harder then I look up in the sky and see a giant bolt of lightning then hear the loudest boom of thunder. I feel Kat tremble in fear in my arms. I look down at her and she shoves her face into my chest. Her chest presses just under mine and her heartbeat is pounding quickly. "Come on... let's go inside." I said.