Cheater | 박지민

四

❝ The moon split into half and the stars crumbled, falling like the fireworks into the sea. I watched my world fall apart the day you cheated. ❞

"I am back." I dragged myself into the house, slamming the door behind me. As expected, the house was cold as always, with no warm hugs or even a simple smile, every time making my heart turn cold.

I was about to plop myself onto the sofa where I would sleep on every night since I didn't feel comfortable with you on the same bed. But I stopped when I saw you sleeping on it with a peaceful look, how innocent you look as your small hands rested on your chest, soft snores coming from you.

My legs took me next to you, slowly kneeling down, admiring how perfect were you with the moonlight shining against your face which had always made me draw into. I picked up the blanket that was kicked off  the sofa.
Even though you were a deep sleeper, I still carefully pulled the blanket over your chest, tugging you in, making sure you were warm.

Unknowingly, my eyes was caught by your facial features, examining each part of it. Your closed eyes that had always been beautiful and having a power to make me fall into, the ones that had always gaze into my soul. The cheeks that I have always pecked on, then turning flush red. The lips that you would use to say "I love you", with simple words that would always make me feel better. Those hands that would wrap around me, simply giving me the comfort I need.

But then, my eyes traveled to your neck, remembering the hickey that was placed there, making my smile flattened, changing my expression to a broken one.

"Why Jimin why? Why did you do it? Didn't you love me? Was I not enough for yo- oh was it because I am not a slut and not good enough in bed for you? I will change, Jimin, I will change whatever you want me to. Why are you still holding onto me even when you don't love me anymore? But why am I still wanting you? But if you really did love me, you wouldn't do this.Why do have to make me suffer so much, Jim-"

I looked at you desperately, waiting for you to answer all my questions. But you didn't, you were sleeping with no worries of the world, you will never know how much I was dying. My hands slipped into your small warm ones, gripping onto it tightly.

Again, tears started to roll down, frustration got me on the nerves, I hated myself for still wanting you so badly. My forehead layed onto the edge of the sofa, facing down at the white-tiled floor, tears dripping down from my eyes, forming small puddles on the floor.

"Hold me Jimin. Pull me into your warm hug, tell me you want me, making me feel I am not wasting my time. I need you, Jimin. The Jimin who was before."

I closed my eyes, feeling darkness all over me, covering the stars that once was shining with me. I want to end this, all the pain and suffering.

As I slowly dozed off, I didn't notice a tear that was too rolled down from your eyes.