Birthday ☆Chloenette → Miraculous Fanfic.

▣ d i a r y ~ 5

Happy New Year!  Hello Diary! This year fluffy was chosen because I wanted to hug you more often and on the top of that you are grey!!!  The colour that resembles everything in my life and has become my favorite colour. :)

I have no idea why I'm more happier than useal today, maybe it's because I went out and talked to Adrien today. Me and him don't talk often in all honesty I feel like it's arkward between us a lot of the time, but sometimes he cracks these weird puns which lightens up the mood. I appreciate that a lot.

Looking back on the year, in my honest opinion I think I'm doing quite well!  You know, I'm feeling more productive writing in here! It's nice feeling productive once in a while :D.

You know, my aim this year is to write everyday!  Yes! EVER.SINGLE.DAYYYYY. Why? Well I feel like my panic attacks are less frequent when I write my thoughts and feelings down.

Plus writing in here is better than going to counciling, because all you do it have a dumb psychiatrist talk on and on about their life thinking that your interested and that you give a flippin ' shit. When in fact you don't and on the top of that you have to pay them?

Like that's some sick bullshit there.

I'm not saying that every psychiatrist is like this, I mean I've seen seven of them and they all sucked in my utter down to earth honest opinion.

You know, I feel like I stopped crying in my sleep recently. Daddy bought me this bear called Brown from Line and they (I don't want to assume it's gender) are wearing this suit of Ryan from Line (like a costume hoodie kinda thing. Oh a Onezie!!!  Is that what it's called?).

Yeah so, it's so adorable!!  And it's currently on my head overlooking at it and I occasionally talk to it, like talking to your plushies is normal right? (´；ω；') don't make me look like a fool here.

But it's warmth and love makes me feel happier, honestly. [I am not a fool I just really am attached to this plushie]

Oh yeah! I got to see Grandmama this holidays! Even though I don't talk much to her, she gave me a box of nougat from Austria! Apparently her friend just came back from Austria and gave Grandmama a lot of sweet treats (she's a huge sweet tooth. That's why I think her teeth are that dark shade... hmm... )

My present to her, homemade soft cookies (yeah, I used twice the butter to make them so that's why they are soft and also very bad for you. It's not like I want to kill my Grandmama, she just loves sweet stuff .) looked pretty lame compared to nougat from Austria.

Nevertheless, she liked them as always and she encourged me to make them with her... I honestly wanted to, but the cookies recipe was shared with me by Momma and when I make them the memories come back and I can't help but cry everytime I make them. (Literally my tears are the salt in the batter)

I didn't want Grandmama to see me cry and I didn't want her to worry about me to much.

I can't help but feel bad, because every single year Grandmama wants me to make the cookies with her and we never did all because of me. One day I hope that we can make them and with Grandmama being alive and well.

You might think my Grandmama is a lazy lady who spends all her time in front of the TV, but be surpised she has huge acres of land with fruits and veggies, along with herbs and flowers, edible flowers, you name it!

No, unfortunately, there is no animals on the property except for Kookie, who is a bunny. A really chubby cute white bunny! Grandmama was thinking of getting another bunny, a coffee coloured one and calling it 'Sepia' so Kookie won't be so lonely.  

I also did make some soft cookies for Kookie, but they were with Kookie's favorite veggies [carrots and celery] and a few other animal friendly things so Kookie won't have an upset stomach. 

I honestly wonder what will happen to the farm once Grandmama passes away, not that I want her to go so soon.... I hope my uncle doesn't sell it off. The farm is to beautiful to be sold, I'd like to take care of it, honestly.

I mean, it's not like I have any big dreams for the future. So might as well do that.

Maybe I shouldn't talked so much about my holidays.... Because now I want to ditch school and go back to the farm. Hehe. Well it's not really a farm but I call it that. Maybe one day we can have farm animals there.

You know, I heard that Marinette went around backpacking with Alya in Austria. I just thought that it's quite a small world since I got nougat that was originally from Austria and they went there.

I hope they both came back safely... I'm not really close with either of them but I hope they are okie. I couldn't imagine doing what they did, I would be so scared.

Plus my father wouldn't let me, especially with all my panic attacks. :')

Oh wow, the fireworks just started and gosh it's so beautiful... All these pretty rainbow lights in the sky.

My Momma was actually scared of fireworks because once it came down and lit her hair on fire, but luckily someone dropped their content of their waterbottle over her head so there wasn't anything major but slight burns.

But writing down the story makes me shiver. Anyhow, fireworks will always be one of my favorite things.

I wish my Polaroid camera had some sheets in it so I could take a pic and paste it in here. :(

It's okie, probably next years will have it :) if I'm still here, that is.

Hmm... I guess I should add a resolution.... I honestly dunno.... My whole mind is blank when it comes to this!

Ugh! How do people even make these dumb resolutions?  

*le sigh* I shouldn't anger myself over this when I could sleep.

Good night diary ~ ♡

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Marinette starred at the first diary entry, the only thing she got out of this was that this person went to their school.

"Who has a Grandmother that has a bunny named Kookie?" The navy haired girl wondered out loud.

Tikki sighed, "I still don't think you should be reading this persons personal diary."

"It's not like I'm going to expose her or anything." Marinette defended.

The small Ladybug kwami couldn't help but frown, the diary seemed like a big deal who whoever lost it. Especially with the amount written inside of it.

The Sapphire eyed girl yawned and laied back onto her fluffy pink pillow and took her Totoro plushie from the side of the bed and cuddled with it in her arms.

Tikki then took the diary and put it on Marinette's side table and flopped on to top of it. The kwami had to admit that the diary was really soft.

"Goodnight, Tikki. "

"Sweet dreams, Marinette ~"

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Thank you for reading! Just over 100 views 🥰💞💞💞

-Nixy ™