The Arranged Marraige - Finding An Indian Bride

Do we meet again?

I came home from a tiring day of work and asked mom, “So what did they say?”

My mother replied, “I called her father, but he did not pick up the phone.”

I reactively said, “Did you try calling him again? It might be that he must be busy at that time.”

My mother replied, “He would call if they really liked you.”

I tried to play it cool and said, “Yeah! I am sure he would call, and even if he did not there are many fish in the ocean.”

Someone knocked on the door and my brother entered the house. Looking at my disappointed face he asked, “What happened?”

I replied, “Nothing. why?”

My brother said, “Then why is that disappointed look on your face.”

My mother had to say, “Krutika’s father did not pick up the phone.” My brother did not say anything and went inside. After my mother slept he prepared a cocktail of vodka, fresh lime juice, and ginger beer and I watched him prepare it.

Over a cup of cocktail – 80% dominance and 20% compliance

I did not drink so he just gave me a lemon juice and sat beside me. After drinking three or four cups of the cocktail, my brother said, “Don’t get heart-broken over this. I was in love for three years when someone I loved left me and it broke my heart. I can tell you a secret that no one else would tell you. Drinks let you forget your past and gives you relief.” I was going to say something but he stopped me and said, “No, that is not the secret. The secret, I have not revealed yet. Listen to me carefully.”

My brother took a sip and continued, “It is a logic that I have developed over the years based on my personal experience. Every relation is based on 80% dominance and 20% compliance. That is one partner in the relation would have 80% dominance and 20% compliance whereas the other partner would have 80% compliance and 20% dominance. There is no marriage where both partners have equal say in major or critical decisions at home. When you choose your partner, you have to decide which side you fall into. There is nothing wrong to be on any side, but you and your partner both cannot be on the same side of dominance level. Now, I renovated my house last year and the color of the paints was decided by my wife. If my wife was not dominant, she would have let me do it my way and you cannot expect two individuals to have same choices in their life. Probably, one time you would comply to it and do it her way, but if you are dominant by nature yourself, then such sacrifices would start hurting you and at some point, you would break and the marriage would not be successful. You have to know yourself and marry someone exactly opposite to you. I know a friend of mine who literally fears his wife and does everything his wife says and do you know why the marriage is still working?”

I said, “Because…”

My brother interrupted me and said, “Yes, because it is in his nature to oblige and if he did not do that, then it would end up in a big fight, or might be he loves her a lot and does not want to lose her. The same reason why I listened to my wife because I loved her a lot. Whatever the reason is, it is working because he is 80% compliant. So, it does not matter if a girl is 80% dominant or the guy, but you are my brother and not my sister. I know you are dominant and practical in nature and if you were my sister I would have asked you to marry a guy who is 80% compliant. Two swords cannot be contained in one sheath and what are you?”

I felt obliged to answer and said, “I am.”

My brother interrupted, “Yes, you are a sword so you should marry a sheath.” He took another sip of cocktail and said, “You are a Sword. Remember it. Marry a sheath not a sword. Two swords, one sheath. Big trouble. What I felt is Krutika is a sword. I might be wrong, but if I am right, then you would have to be a sheath. So, it is good that her father did not pick up his phone. It might be a blessing in disguise.”

The next day I got a call from my mother, “What are you doing?”

I replied, “Mom, I am in the office. I am working.”

She asked, “Right. Do you remember Krutika?” The name brought a smile on my face.

I said, “Yes. I think you mean about the girl we went to meet last weekend.”

She replied, “Yes. I got a call from her father.”

I asked, “So what did he say?”

She replied, “No, I could not pick up the call. That is what I was trying to tell you. I had kept the phone inside the drawer. Remember, I had told you that my colleagues had lost their stuff in the office. So, we keep our phones inside the drawer, especially when we go for lunch.”

I said, “Mom, I am busy. Can you call him and let me know what he said when I come home?”

Mother replied, “He called me during lunch, so I could not pick up the call, but when I saw the miscall I called him back.” I knew mom would not complete the statement unless she gives me every detail of it.

I said, “So what did he say?” So that she could focus on what he said and not on when and how he called.

She replied, “He asked me about our house in Kerala(State in South India) and how often we visit Kerala (My hometown). He also asked about your father and where he is? I gave him some of the information tactically.”

I asked curiously, “Did he say if his daughter liked me?” My mother said, “Son, it is arranged marriage. No father would say that her daughter loves your son.”

I said, “What I meant is, are they interested in me?” I just wanted to know if it was yes or no, and I was having hard time explaining it to my mother.

She said, “Yes, they are coming to our house next weekend.” The mystery and my misery were both over, and I wished her father had called before my brother’s speech, but it is always fun to listen to my brother when he is sober.

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Copyright @ 2017 Kallat Vinay Surendran
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