The life that I once lived... Macklemore fanfiction

chapter 9 ~ I was stupid and deserved pain

I woke up in the morning exspecting my dark purple wall paper around me and my shiny Macklemore and Ryan Lewis posters. But no, i was in a tent. I screamed through gritted teeth, remembering that i was with Ben and Ryan made me excited and ecstatic.

I got up just about to get drest when i realised i had no clean clothes. So i sat in the tent till someone came.

Less than ten minuets later Ben made a knocking sound with his voice and i shouted him to come in.

"Are you ever getting up?"

He laughed.

"Well i would but you see, we have a problem. I have no clean clothes."

Mack starred into my eyes and i starred back. He brushed one of my brown wavy locks out off my face. He smiled showing his white straight teeth.

"Well that is a problem. I'll get you some clothes... Or would you prefer to walk round naked? Any is fine with me."

Ben wiggled his eyesbrows and i found it hard not to laugh. Getting up to leave, he winked at me.

Twelve minuets later Ben came back with a pair of Tricia's skinny black jeans, underwear and socks and then an awsome big seahawks football top which was Bens.

"Here you go. Look after that top, it's one of my fravorites."

"Of course i will. Now let me get drest."

Ben waited out side while i got drest. I stepped out of my blankets and took my sweaty vest off and exchanged it for the soft huge football top. It was awsome, i was a massive fan of Americian football and i was a big seahawks fan. As i pulled the top over my face i could smell sweet aftershave and a slight sent of washing powder. It smelled of Macklemore.

Pulling the jeans half way up my legs i realised what was there. Four long deep lines of bright red sat on the top of my left thigh. You could still see my heeled past stars but they wasn't very noticable. I began to sob and deppression covered my mind in a black cloud. Why did i do it again? I thought i was getting better? I shouldn't be unhappy when my dreams have just come true... Should i?

I couldn't hear anything sept from my crys. I cried as loud as i could to drown out my thoughts. To forget, i needed to forget. My screaming ached my ear drums and pounded at my beating heart.  But i didn't care. I was stupid and deserved pain.

* * *

"LILA! LILA!"

Ben was shouting at me. Why was he shouting, nothing was wrong. Was there? I tried to look around but all i could see was his perfect, hansome face. His eyes, they could hold mine for hours. Ben had his hands rapped around me and i was crumpled up in a ball while he cradled me.

"It's okay Lila, it's okay."

He didn't sound sure.

"Whats happening Ben? Whats happening to me?"

I bursted out into tears and screamed. I couldn't stop my self. Ben held me as tight as he could untill they came for me, again.