Forever & Always - (One Direction, Narry)

Chapter 22: Stars & Amsterdam

Niall and I haven't spoken a word to each other in weeks.

It was eating me up inside, how stupid I was being.

I completely disregarded his feelings and acted as if I was the only person being directly offended by what management was doing to us. God, I am so stupid. Niall James Horan is such an amazing person and he didn't deserve this as much as I didn't.

Over time, I had started to miss Niall in general. I missed his signiature hugs and his general smell and the way he looked directly into your eyes when you talked to him. And when he could tell that you were upset, he'd touch your arm and it'd give ypu these crazy chills because you just knew that he cared.

And I didn't care and that's cost me the best friend I have ever had.

We obviously couldn't just avoid each other. We had interviews, shit loads of them, and book signings and the Where We Are Tour and everything else. We had to act "in love" in front of everyone and we had to make it look real. We had to look into each other's eyes and laugh, but it was not anywhere close to being genuine.

I know that I had to find the right words to say to Niall. Liam had reminded me plenty of times that I was a douchebag and that I needed to fix things, I just didn't know how. I wanted to, believe me, I really wanted to.

But how does one approach their ex best friend-turned-gay lover? It isn't exactly the easiest thing ever.

I'd called my mum up at least twenty times since we left England for Amsterdam and she only kept saying thsame damned thing. "Harry, just tell him you're sorry."

I got so desperate for answers and Louis got so annoyed with me that he put me on the phone with Eleanor. My green, tired eyes looked at him like he was insane as he help out his shiny iPhone. "I'm not talking to her."

I eventually got the guts to tell Louis everything that I hadn't before, and he was so okay with it. Louis was the kind of person to just sit and listen when it was important. He'd tell you his honest opinion and not sugarcoat anything. And you knew that he meant every word that spilled from his crooked lips.

"She gives bloody good advice, man."

"I'm...I'm not talking to her," I repeated. "I can't. She'll think I'm crazy."

"She already knows that," Louis replied with a smirk, nudging the phone closer to my leg. "Don't you think you're desperate enough, man? You could use all the advice you can get. My girlfriend being no exception."

I sighed and glared down at the phone for nearly thirty more seconds before I picked it up and put it to my ear. "Hello?" I croaked. "Eleanor?"

"'Ello, Harry," a petite and innocent voice chirped from the other side of the line. We paused for quite a few moments before I heard her take a deep breath. "Harry, I am so so so sorry."

"Don't be."

"No, I am. I should have known you had feelings for Louis. I kind of even knew and I didn't ever" she paused, taking another deeo breath. "I just, I didn't say anything and I feel like shit for it."

"El, you really don't-"

"Please, let me talk..please." So I shut up and let her speak. I had a horrible habit of talking over people to get my opinion out. That was my problem. "Harry, I need you to know that I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you like a brother and I always have. I never thought for a second that I was a trouble and I should have listened...I am so sorry."

I paused to make sure she was done talking and hadn't hung up. "It's okay, honestly. But now...can you help me?" I nearly sobbed. I felt Louis' warm hand touch the small of my back, urging me that it was okay.