Nygmobblepot

Victor & Ivy-Godparents

Oswald sat in the armchair with his chin on his fist and listened as Edward called after their daughter. In the middle of dressing her for a party, the three-year-old took off running before they had a chance to put her in a pair of tights. He ran a hand over his face. At this rate, they would definitely be late.

"Eleanor!" He could hear the exasperation in his husband's voice. "Sweetie, daddy and I need to finish dressing you."

She laughed and the sound of her feet barreling through the hallways of the Van Dahl manor followed soon after.

"Eleanor, get back he—"

A loud thump made Oswald sit up straight. His mind began to assume the worst. Edward hurt himself, Eleanor hurt herself, something was wrong. He stood and that's when he heard it, the last word he wanted to hear screamed out while a toddler was present.

"FUCK!"

Penguin lifted his eyebrows. Are you kidding me?

Their daughter's laughter rang out. "Daddy said a swear!"

He took a calming breath and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. Fuck, indeed. The smaller man left the room and found his husband bracing himself against a doorframe, a hand clutching his foot as he tried to breathe through the pain.

"Ah...ow!" Ed clenched his teeth. "Cheese and crust. Yowza!"

"Ed—" Before Oswald could say any more, his husband raised a hand.

"I know what I said. We'll discuss it later. Right now, I'm going to get some ice. Can you—ah!—get El?"

"Absolutely."

_________________________

While Victor Zsasz was with Eleanor at the park, her parents took a moment to recover. They sat side-by-side on the couch in silence. Oswald stared at a spot on the carpet as Ed nibbled at his cuticle, worry plaguing his mind.

"I can't believe I said the F-word in front of our daughter."

"I honestly can't either."

Ed sighed. "I really messed up."

"Of all the words, why the F-word?" Oswald sighed. "Both of us swear. But of all the words, you had to slip and say fuck around our three-year-old. That's just...well, it's not good, to state the obvious."

Zsasz entered the room with Eleanor at his side. Both men looked up in alarm. They weren't supposed to be back for another fifteen minutes. The assassin tilted his head. "Gertie Nor just said the F-word on the teeter-totter. Would either of you care to let me in on what's going on with that?"

Shaking his head, Ed slipped his fingertips beneath his glasses and covered his eyes. "Oh, my God. I messed up."

"What is he talking about?"

Oswald scoffed. "Ed screamed it when he stubbed his toe."

Victor lifted one side of his brow, his eyes wide. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Apparently, Ellie has a new favourite word."

"It was an accident for the hundredth time!" Ed snapped, "and I fractured my toe, thank you very much."

"It's fine."

"What's not fine is that our daughter knows that word now. What if she, I don't know, says it at school one day?"

"You mean one day two years from now? You're really being dramatic."

The conversation continued to ping-pong and Victor followed with his eyes and an amused smile.