Ashton's POV
It's been twelve hours.
Twelve agonizing hours of hell.
The smell of sorrow and missed opportunity soaked into my skin, sinking into my pores, leaking to my bloodstream.
I was alone, Luke left after a few awful moments of being in the same room as me. I didn't blame him, things weren't cool with us, I felt anger rise up in my body as he had made our way towards us.
I waited for a doctor to enter the room and tell me she was okay.
But they didn't.
A man dressed in pale blue scrubs walked through the door, "family of Hannah Hemmings?"
I stood up, shuffling towards him. My feet going beating on the white tiles. "That's me." I responded as he took off his hat, immediately my stomach sank.
"You were aware of the risks of tis surgery. I am sorry, but Miss Hemmings didn't make it." He turned and walked away, leaving me.
My body crumpled to the floor.
She was gone.
I was alone.
Nothing was how it should be. I just held her in my arms hours before.
She was my everything, all I ever wanted.
It should have been me. I should have been the one laying in that hospital bed, no pulse. I deserved it, I wasn't innocent like she was. She was pure until I got a hold of her.
Everything was red, an endless stream of crimson.
My legs carried me to my car, where I sat in silence. The world was passing by me, but mine was stopped.
It was dead.
She was dead.
Dead.
That's what I wanted to be.
I strained my arms to the back until it collided with the paper bag filled with my drugs.
I swore I would stop, but it's not that simple or easy.
Nothing really is.
I just wanted to be with her. She never knew. She never knew that all I ever thought of was her.
That I was scared, petrified of what would happen if we didn't last.
I didn't want to feel pain.
I didn't want her to feel pain.
I wanted us to be happy, forever.
With every little regret that washed over me, I pushed it down with a pill, line of cocaine, or some heroin.
The deadly mixture would not be good news for me, I knew, but I didn't care.
All I wanted was her.
Hannah was the air that I breathed, cleansing me from the toxins of my life; ridding me of the unwanted problems that I didn't need.
She was the earth that supported me and gave me something to lean on. She gave me a foundation to build myself up upon. She was my rock, the mountain that I climbed.
She was the water I drank to keep myself going. I drank in her ambition, loyalty, and bravery in hopes to give some to myself.
She was the fire in my heart and eyes when I felt her touch.
And then my heart stopped beating.
For her.
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Omg Lauren what have I done.
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-Skylar
