Because of You

Chapter 9: Lighthouse

I walked out to Saylor's car and went to the driver's side. She rolled down the window and my heart felt heavy when I saw her red puffy eyes and makeup smeared face.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"You just drove for four hours, let me drive." She gave me a look of panic as she rubbed her hand over the steering wheel. "I'll be careful." I said remembering how much she cared about her car.

"Fine." She said as she got out and went around to the passenger side. "You don't know where we are going though."

"Then give me directions." I laughed as I backed out of my driveway and headed down the street.

"Are your parents okay with you being out this late?" She asked as she nervously played with her shirt.

"Yeah, I just told them I have a friend going through a breakup and that I probably wouldn't be home tonight."

"Do they know this friend is a girl?"

"No, but it's okay."

"How much farther?" I asked. We were already 20 minutes from town along the ocean side.

"Turn here."

"Here? Are you sure? This is a private road." I said hesitant.

"Yes, we're fine." I did as I was told and turned down the gravel road.

The road led us to a private beach with a huge white lighthouse a few yards from where we parked. It was gorgeous. "Wow." I said as she got out of the car and I followed. "Are you sure we can be here?"

"Yes, Drunk-boy." She said as she took her car keys from me and dangled one in front of my face as we approached the lighthouse. She unlocked the door and I followed her inside.

We went up a staircase that rounded around the base of the light house. When we reached the top, it led us to another door. She unlocked that one and we entered what seemed to be an apartment. "What is this place?"

"The place I go when I need to get away from the world. My uncle owns a bunch of properties and he fixes places up and either sells them or rents them out. I've helped him on weekends and school breaks for a while now. We found this place when I was 14 and it was pretty run down but I fell in love. So the deal was if I helped fix it up then it could be mine until I went to college. It took about two years to get it in living conditions but I love it. My uncle is the only one who knows about this, well, besides you, now."

"Really?" I asked surprised. "What about Abigail? Or Logan? Or he who shall not be named?"

"Ryan's not Voldemort, Noah."

"You're right, Voldemort is better looking."

Her laugh was contagious but I slowly watched as her laughs became sobs and the tears ran down her cheeks and for the first time I watched her break down. She was the kind of pretty most never really notice, but seeing her in the middle of the night, with messy hair and tired eyes and tears dancing across her cheeks and dripping onto her mouth, I wanted nothing more than to kiss them away, but I knew I couldn't.

I stared not knowing what to do. I hesitated before I slowly embraced her in my arms.

"What did I do wrong?" She sobbed into my shoulder.

"Nothing, Saylor. You did nothing wrong. He's just a jackass."

"I wasted half a year on him. He wasted half a year of my life. I can't believe I was so naïve."

"You'll find better."

"That's what everyone says." She pulled away. "But guys all turn out the same. They all end up destroying me every single time."

"Sometimes you have to sort through all the garbage and shit around you before you can find that single item that's worth it all."

"I thought I weeded it all out. I thought by making him wait, I was eliminating the bullshit. I figured, oh, if all he wants is sex, I'll just make him wait, and if he waits long enough he obviously likes me for more than being a way for him to get laid but I never thought he would just go sleep with other girls to satisfy himself."

"At least he didn't get what he wanted from you."

I watched as the tears swelled up in her eyes again and she just shook her head no.

"You didn't, right?" I really hoped she didn't give in.

"New Year's." That's all she had to say and I knew. She gave in. That's why it was even easier for him to watch her walk away. He got what he wanted.

I wrapped her in my arms again. "He didn't deserve to take away your innocence."

"Noah," She said pulling away again. "I wasn't a virgin. I lost that a long time ago."

"Oh." I said not liking the sound of that. That means Jayden's story could be true and that was the last thing I wanted. "I just figured, I guess."

"Which is surprising considering the fact that everyone in this town seems to think I'm a slut."

"I don't."

"That's because you're innocent as hell, Drunk-boy." She said before she grabbed the sweatpants I brought for her in a bag and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

I browsed the living room area while I waited for Saylor to return. She had a stack of DVDs and VHS tapes in the corner and an old N64 console lying next to the old boxy television. There were pictures of her and a guy, who didn't look much older than us, hanging on the walls. I wondered who he was. I sat on the old worn couch, running through everything that had happened that day.

She silently sat next to me on the couch, wearing my baseball sweatpants. "Can I destroy you in Mario Kart?" I asked her after several moments of silence.

She hesitated before saying, "The only person getting destroyed in Mario Kart tonight is you." She jumped off the couch and set up the game, tossing the second controller to me.

"50cc so you have a chance?" I asked her as we reached the menu screen.

"I may be a girl, Drunk-boy, but I can kick ass in video games." She stated as she selected 150cc. She selected Peach, while I picked Yoshi. She then selected the special cup and that's when I really knew I was in trouble. She was pissed off and that anger was going to be taken out on me during Mario Kart.

I sped off into first place in Donkey Kong's Raceway and held the lead for the first two laps before she hit me with a red turtle shell and took over. I was on her tail before she got the star power and knocked me out again, taking first place. "It's not over." I said as she gave me a cocky grin.

I ended up winning the next race, and she won the third. We were down to the last race and it was Rainbow Road. I glanced over at her, her eyes were focused on the screen, her lips pierced with a slight smirk. She was so insanely gorgeous in this moment and-I snapped out of my haze to realize the race had started and I was in dead last. "Shit." I whispered as I desperately tried to catch up.

"Pay attention, Drunk-boy." She smirked.

I chuckled as I reached third place and received the lightning bolt. It struck Saylor, making her shrink. I sped past her before losing control and sliding off the edge. "Shit." I said aloud as Saylor regained 1st and sped across the finish line. "Good game."

Her smile turned serious again, and I knew whatever I did, her smile would only be temporary. She was hurting. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in as she began sobbing on my chest.

I didn't know what tosay. Honestly, I knew there wasn't anything I could say that would fix thissituation. She needed time and I couldn't give her that. So I was quiet. I justheld her because that's what she needed. She needed to feel loved. She neededto feel like she mattered.