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15, Fight or Flight?

There are some things that can be forgotten in the heat of the moment, like the training Britta worked so hard at. She could work as well as ever, but now whenever her eyes met Ed's she felt as though she was sharing a secret with him. They were, but not one that should give her the feeling she got when she saw into his eyes.

The guilt probably should have been worse, but as winter came to end and almost a year had passed since training started they were working harder than ever. They had final tests coming up that everyone worried about. Britta knew that she and Diana should probably leave after they'd gotten payment for the year's work, yet somehow she still wanted to do well in the tests. She wanted to find out more about what they were training for. She wanted to be selected as one of the final few.

The Fox sometimes took her and a few other of the better ones on separate training sessions. It sometimes surprised Britta how far she had gotten and that she was included in this group. Ed wasn't and she was relieved, one headache she didn't have at that time at least.

She spent far too much time thinking about him. She decided. Things would never be okay with Diana when she had... whatever it was she had... with Ed going on and she wanted her sister back. She wondered at what it was she felt when she and Ed locked eyes. Somehow, she knew he had not meant to kiss her in the woods and also that neither of them truly regretted it. She feared what she felt for Ed because it was unknown to her. She was certain she didn't like or love him as anymore than a friend, so the boiling in the pit of her stomach when they had touched had shocked her. She usually found herself massaging her temples and telling herself she would sort it out later.

The moment The Fox declared a camp in the woods to build on survival skills everyone was pleased. They would form groups of with whichever weapon users they choose. Timidly, Diana approached Britta and the two of them joined up.

"Friends again?" Asked Diana.

"That or whatever we were before." Said Britta thoughtfully. They were closer than normal friends and it was nice having someone who knew her as well as they knew themselves, although Britta was finally sure they were very different.

Eventually Ed joined their group too, so did Neal who practiced archery, and Thom and Clyde who both used a sword. They were allowed to choose whichever supplies they thought they would need for the stock piles. Their group was to leave in three days' time which gave them the Sunday and Monday morning to pack when they weren't in training. The six of them chose two tents, the smaller one was to be used, conveniently, by Britta and Diana. It was Thom who suggested this, and with his quiet, mysterious nature, Britta wouldn't be so surprised if he knew; there were secrets hidden in his dark brown eyes that no one would ever know.

It was Ed that confused her most. She had not gone near him again, but she wanted to. Britta decided she liked kissing, just not the complications that went with it. She didn't have the reservations that came with being brought up as a noble woman, but she had those which involved Diana and herself. It couldn't last, she knew, but she would confront it soon enough.

"As you've told yourself many times before." Said Faithful snidely.

"Oh, stop it." Britta told him.

That Sunday Britta wasted no time in getting all their gear together. She herself commissioned new clothes. She had never been well-fed at the Abbey and now she had better food and finally Neal could no longer annoy her about her height as she was about as tall as him. As well as her new height she had wiry muscles of hard use, they didn't stick out, but now her arms and legs were sculpted, and her curves held no softness.

She got better clothing all around, and new shoes, she handed her old ones in, so they could be washed and reused. In the end the group decided to hunt for most of their food. Britta admitted to knowing some herb lore and so most of what they took ended up being sleeping gear and cooking gear that they distributed between them.