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2, Dreams and Desperate Thoughts

Britta shook Diana awake. It was early morning, and the sky was grey with the slightest hint of the coming dawn. Something had awoken them. Britta could still see the swirl of colours inside her head; a dream. Each time it left Britta with the feeling that something was missing from their lives. That they were not who they were meant to be, and they had to do something about it.

She could never remember exactly what happened, but it terrified her sister more than her although her sleep was always blissfully undisturbed. It was probably the feeling of longing which shot through Britta. The urge to disrupt their quiet lives and do something dramatic. It was like a wind, which swept through her, scouring out the emotions of fear which usually clouded her being, and kept her in line.

Diana was holding her tightly as if worried that Britta would slip away as she so often wanted to do. But slowly, their hold on each other loosened as they breathed easier. Calmness began to descend on her, put there by her sister, who had her eyes shut tight. Their eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering through the curtains. Though the Abbey was still cold at this time of the year, and wind crept through edges of the doors and windows, Britta felt safer there, awake, than she did when she slept.

As the morning wore on, people started wakening. The steady breathing of the girls turned irregular and uneven as eyes began to open.

Beside them, a tousled brown head poked above the covers. The girl, Bella, sat up.

"Awake at last." Britta said, trying to sound casual. Her voice was shaky and quiet, but steady enough to seem normal.

She had learned long ago that it was easier to pretend to be fine, even if she could never fool Diana.

"Says the girl who looks like she's been pulled through a bramble patch backwards." Bella shot back. She was not a morning person, and the cold only made her more irritable.

Britta sighed and touched a hand to her hair. She had let it out of its braid, leaving it curlier than it usually was.

Bella smiled slightly, and said, "No, I'm not exaggerating."

Beside her, Diana looked resentful. "Come on, Britta." She said. "We need to get dressed and go make breakfast for everyone."

Stop. Britta willed her twin. This time, her lips didn't move, and it was mind-to-mind that she spoke.

Diana's eyes found hers, and she said, she shouldn't say things like that. You look fine.

I'm past caring how I look. Britta pointed out.

Bella sighed, "Can you to please stop doing that in front of me. I hate not hearing what you're saying."

Though both girls shrugged, they knew what Bella was referring to. She meant The Voice. It was as natural as breathing for them, but Bella had known them for almost four years, and she could tell when they were communicating with more than just meaningful looks.

"Sorry." Said Diana. "But we do need to get ready."

The scuffling sound of the coarse material which made their nightgowns against the worn sheets overtook the usual morning birdsong, growing louder as more and more people awoke. On Bella's other side, Fee sat up, opening a full-lipped mouth in a yawn.

"What are we talking about?" She asked.

"We have to get up and start working." Said Bella ruefully.

"I am not looking forward to today." Fee groaned, pulling at her blond hair.

Britta nodded with a small smile. "Don't worry, you're working in the west wing today, at least the Dedicates are nice."