The words I never say.

I don't

Stand up!
Put your clothes on!
Go outside and enjoy the weather!

I don't think they get it. I don't think they see how tired I am.
I don't think they see the bags underneath my eyes because I didn't get enough sleep last night, the night before, and several nights before that either.
I don't think they see how fragile I am, how easily something can build up in my mind because I couldn't manage to do it right.
I don't think they get it when I stay silent in class. It's not because I don't listen or don't care; maybe it's because I have a lot on my plate, all the freaking time, and that destroys the same fake smile, the same fake laugh, the same urge to come see you and tell you I'm not fine.
I don't think they understand when I say "it doesn't matter." It's because it does, and I either don't know how to explain myself or I fear the reaction.
I think people only see what they want to, and there's no way they see beyond what passes their eyes.
Maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it.
Maybe after all.