Feelings Don't Fade Away [Narry Storan Love]

chapter nine: where do we go from here?

this is dedicated to  ayeitsheathaaar  because my narry heart will forever sail with hers <3 lol so please don't murder me after this chapter...um...i'm leaving you guys with a cliffhanger BUT chapter ten is going to be amazing so it's okay (:
Juliette.!<3

 

I stare into Harry's eyes and he stares back into mine. It's got to be close to morning now, we've been out here all night. I trace Harry's lips with my pointer finger and he parts his lips slightly, his breath tickling my finger.

"I didn't think you'd come looking for me," He says, the first one of us to speak to the other the first time since Monday.

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, absentmindedly playing with his curls.

"I'm not worth it," He whispers. I sit up and stare at him.

"Don't ever say that," I say, my voice shaking. "Don't ever say that you aren't worth it. Ever. Okay? Don't even, like, joke about not being worth it because you are. If you weren't worth it I wouldn't have spent the past few years of my life getting drunk every night and-"

"You what?" Harry sits up too and stares deep into my eyes. I feel like he can touch my soul- I feel so vulnerable. No one knew about the drinking until now.

"I, uh, used to drink every night because-"

"When was the last time?" Harry asks.

"Last night," I chew on my bottom lip and look down at the ground, up at the trees- anywhere but at Harry.

"Was that when you started screaming Monday night?" Harry asks. I nod. "What was it that you burned?"

"You saw that?" I cover my face with my hands.

"I see everything you do," Harry says. It's barely a whisper.

"I burned all of our old pictures," I answer.

"Why?"

"Because I got mad at the two beer cans that got to stay together as friends," Harry laughs.

"You got wasted," He says. I shrug.

"Not as bad as I usually get," I say. Harry sighs and puts his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Where do we go from here?" He asks. I sigh.

"I don't know," I answer truthfully. "If you want to leave again it's fine. I delt with it once, I can do it again."

"Hey, don't say that," Harry says. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I've heard that before," I snort.

"Hey, I'm not eight anymore," He says. "I mean it this time. And I'll do everything in my power to make you believe me."

"Like what?" I scoff and look away. I know Harry- he's a player. I'm probably just his latest game. Sure he'll start out sincere but he'll get bored and leave. He'll move on.

"Will you be mine?" He asks. "Like, exclusively mine?"

I don't know. Do I want to be his? I mean, obviously I do, but is it the right choice? I want nothing more than to let him back into my life. I want to hold his hand and go on stupid dates and just have my old friend back. I want to have video game Fridays and just be goofy with Harry like we used to. I want to finally be able to tell him I love him and show him how amazing he truly is. I want to be able to put the past behind us and just move on.

But, at the same time, I know I can't. Harry's not exactly the romantic type- if anything we'll stay home and watch movies. Video game Fridays will be the same as always, if not forced. I don't think I'll ever forget the things he used to say to me.

Now that I'm faced with the question, I realize that it's going to be even harder to say yes than I'd thought. I'm weighing the outcomes. Either way, in my mind, I end up hurt. Harry realizes that he's made a mistake and just acted in the heat of the moment and he leaves. Or he's just playing and everyone at school came up with the plan from the beginning and this is all a joke.

Or, this could all be real and my dreams are finally coming true. I look into Harry's eyes and sigh. I know my answer. I've never been more sure of anything in my life.