Feelings Don't Fade Away [Narry Storan Love]

chapter three: without you, i'm nothing.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MIGHT MAKE YOU CRY/WANT TO PUNCH HARRY IN THE FACE.! anyways thanks for the comments on the last chapter (: this chapter is dedicated to  xXmalenaXx097 (: keep the comments coming and i'll keep the dedications coming aha <3
Juliette.!<3

 

I’m the last person left in the locker room after gym, like usual. I reach into my locker and grab my white high top sneakers. I sit down to tie them on and just as I’m finishing the last one a pair of red Converse appears and my locker is slammed shut.

“How the hell did you know?” Harry growls.

“How did I know what?” I ask nonchalantly, now tying my left shoe.

“Don’t play games, Horan,” He spits. “I know you told Mr. Gay Pride that I’m afraid of roller coasters. How the hell did you know?” I stand and look him dead in the eyes.

“There was a time when we were friends, remember? We told each other everything! Don’t you remember when we were thirteen and we went to that amusement park and you wouldn’t go on any of the roller coasters and I asked you why and that’s when you told me you were afraid? I felt so bad because I made you get on that one really scary one and you hadn’t told me until afterwards. I felt so bad I bought you an ice cream cone with my birthday money. Don’t you remember?” Harry’s eyes stay emotionless and blank. I scoff and grab my backpack. “Of course you don’t. Why would you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks, his voice cracking slightly.

“What the hell happened to us, Harry? What happened? One day we were best friends and then the next you hated me. Why? What happened!?”

“I was going through some things-”

“Why didn’t you let me help you?”

“You wouldn’t have understood!” He shouts. “No one understands. I was alone! No one was there for me!”

I snap. Something inside me breaks. You know how people talk about reaching their breaking point? Well, I've just reached it.

“Don’t say nobody was there for you! That’s just bullshit! I tried to cheer you up on the days you were down! I tried helping you but you wouldn’t tell me what the hell was wrong! I tried everything just to make you feel better! But you’re the one who pushed me away! You didn’t want my company. So don’t you fucking say that nobody was there for you when I clearly was!”

“Why are you so mad about that?” Harry whispers.

“I’m mad because I cried out to you, but you didn’t listen. I’m upset because you said you’d be there but now you’re nowhere to be found. I’m sad because I know you aren’t coming back. I’m hurt because you didn’t keep your promises. I’m screaming because I lost my best friend. I’m lost because without you, I’m nothing. I was going through some shit too Harry, it wasn’t just you.”

“What were you going through?” He chuckles darkly.

“I was realizing that I was gay!” I screech. I’m so mad that all I want to do is punch something. My entire body is shaking from the amount of anger that’s built up in my body. I reach out and punch the locker directly beside Harry’s face. “Do you know how scared I was? How alone I felt? I needed someone there for me to comfort me and tell me that everything would be okay. When we were eight, you promised me that you’d be that person. You lied to me, Harry. You lied.” I whisper the last two words as my anger subsides and turns to sadness.

“You make it sound like I’m the one who made you realize you were gay,” Harry laughs. I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder.

“You were,” I say, my voice cold. And with that, I leave Harry and the locker room behind me.