Feelings Don't Fade Away [Narry Storan Love]

chapter ten: confused.

so...this is being uploaded from my mobile so its terrible & im sorry if its not long enough or if there's mistakes. this is dedicated to katniss_luvs_1D because she shares my love/hate relationship for for cliffhangers ^.^ anywhoo onto the chapter!

Juliette.!

I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, completely and utterly confused. Harry asked me to be his. Like, exclusively his. I hadn't known what to say so I'd simply done what I always do- stuttered something incoherent and left. He hadn't called after me- he knows that's what I do when I'm asked a question that matters a lot to me. I have to take my time and think things through.

Harry wants me to be his. What would I be exactly, though? Calling myself his boyfriend seems awkward and weird. I mean, it seems just odd to think of Harry as my boyfriend because he means so much more to me than that. Boyfriends and girlfriends can just break it off with each other whenever they want- those relationships aren't serious, especially to Harry.

Maybe that's why he hadn't phrased it that way. He'd said he wanted me to be his. He put a lot of possession in there. Which is weird because I know Harry and I know that he doesn't think of his relationships that way. I don't even think he's had a solid relationship ever. He keeps the people he fucks at a distance so that he doesn't his heart hurt.

Does he really want to do this with me? Be with me? He's throwing his entire reputation away. People probably won't give him too much trouble for it since he's so popular and all but he's pretty much commiting social suicide. It'd be better if this was a him and Zayn thing- at least they're at the top of the food chain. He's falling down to the bottom of the social ladder to be with me. Doesn't he care about his reputation? What this could do to him?

For me it doesn't matter- I can't go much lower than I already have. Losing Harry as a friend meant losing my rank in the social system of our high school. I pretty much outed myself right away. I might as well be like the gay guy who walks around with a pink backpack. Even he has more friends than me. It's sad but true.

Anyways, would Harry really be willing to do that? Give up everything for me? I know he pretty much already has by posting that video- it's gone viral. Someone uploaded it to YouTube and everytime I refresh the page it jumps like a thousand views. Everyone knows.

I'm so confused by all of this. Why all of a sudden this change of heart? Was it because I finally told him what he didn't want to hear, but desperately needed to? Geeze, I feel like Jenna from MTVs Awkward. Granted my mom didn't write me a nasty letter but I do sort of have friends like Tamara and Ming. Louis has been drooling over this cheerleader for months and the two of them have this sort of love-hate relationship which can be related to Ricky and Tamara's. And Liam's a genius who's really good at listening but gets left out a lot and I end up breaking down and telling him everything.

Oh no, I'm just like a teenage girl on a comedy show for other teenage girls who have no lives. What's wrong with me!?

"Pull yourself together, Niall!" I say and slap myself.

What should I do? Part of me is screaming to say yes but another part of me is telling the other half to shut up and shut down again. I could just crawl back into my hole and drink all of this away...but I can't do that. I promised Harry I wouldn't.

Then again, he did break all of the promises he made to me, didn't he? Everything we ever promised each other has been shot to hell now, hasn't it?

I sigh. I know my answer to Harry. I know what I'm going to do.