scattered thoughts

not mine

I'm so tired of drowning,
While people thought I was waving.
I'm so tired of thinking everything will be okay,
I'm barely breathing and living everyday.

I'm tired of negative words and nagging,
I'm tired of being positive and understanding.
At home, I don't feel the love anymore.
I think it's best if I'll leave through the front door.

Sometimes I wish I was never born,
Because all I'll ever be is torn.
I'm done, all I want to do is die,
I'm done with all these lies.

I pray that God will take me away,
I'll be gone by midday.
And suddenly, I'll be dead and okay.
All I'll ever have is words I didn't say.