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Christmas Day came and went. I had fun and it took my mind off Hope, but I knew that I couldn't ignore her forever, it also appears that drunk me understood that as well. Mum doesn't usually let me drink alcohol as it's a depressant but when New Years arrived and she was ok with it. So I drank and drank until I could barely stand on both feet and messaged Hope. I'm not going to deny, it was not my best hour. It started off ok.
~TEXTS~
Me: Hello luv!
Hope: Hey x
Me: How has ur xmas been? MInes been kinda shite but yankow wat can you do.
Hope: It's been good. Mum and dad didn't fight this year.
Me: thats gr8 how u been
Hope: Fine, been a good Xmas this year ngl.
( and this is where I my dumb, drunkass had to say something)
Me: really???? coz i was told someting differen t.
Hope: What do you mean?
Me: i was told bYF my motherr tat you tried to kill yourselff
Hope: Babes, you're drunk. Look I'll talk tomorrow when you're sober, ok?
Me: were you really going to leave me?
Hope: Tomorrow. I promise. X
~END OF TEXTS~
When I woke up I had a splitting headache, no recollection of what happened and a missed call from Hope. This confused me a little. Maybe she didn't mean to call me. Maybe she needed me last night but I was to wasted to her. What if I've said something to her?! And as if on queue it all flooded back to me, like a tidal wave. Why would I say that?! I have to call her. So I did.
That was almost 2 hours ago, she's meant to be here in 5 minutes. We're going to talk about it. I'm not going to lie I am absolutely petrified. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's because I am so scared that I am going to say the wrong thing and upset her. Every second that goes past I can feeling my breathing getting shorter. This girl has been my best friend for almost 10 years now and this is time I'm scared to talk to her. And despite my, almost crippling, anxiety I can't stop myself from being extremely furious at her. So much bottled anger, I wish I could slap her around the face and scream at her, shout at her, shout all profanities at her. But I can't because I don't want to upset her.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the front door, which my sister answers. Hope's here.
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Don't hate me! I'm sorry it's so late but my exams and stuff ugh! I really am sorry and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Leave your opinions in the comments, vote and message me if you want to! Bye! X
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Take Care.
Non-FictionThe first time she did it was meant to be a time of happiness, Christmastime is about joy and being with your loved ones, she obviously didn't get the memo. The second time she did it I wasn't there to help her, yet she goes on as if nothing had hap...
