Body of Scars

Chapter V

My fingers gently trace the youthful braid which falls down my back. My eyelids flutter widely as Melissa craftily paints them in a bold orange eye shadow. I know I must look stupid but Melissa keeps telling me how pretty I look, occasionally giving my arm a calming stroke. I hear the clatters and screeches of children playing and fighting within the house, noises bouncing from wall to wall, trapped within the flimsy confinements of a care home. Thats what all the kids call this place. A care home. Melissa insists that the house is for kids like us who have lost their family and are looking for new one’s. Except, I read somewhere that an Orphanage did that. And this place is definitely not an orphanage. The walls are chipped with smelling paint, the floors are greasy and grim lines the cracks on the bathroom tiles. And I feel like everyone is here for the same reason I am. Before I can ask Melissa what the reason might be I hear the unmistakable creak of the back door being opened and my eyes snap open, my hand airily waving away Melissa’s protests as the orange eyeshadow container falls to the floor, spewing its colorful contents everywhere. I glance toward the door and furrow my eyebrows. A new boy. He is so thin, his skeletal figure is hardly covered by the flannel top he wears. I notice his clothes are smudged and dirtied. His hair is a long mess of soft brown, clumsily falling into his misted emerald eyes. His skin is colored a soft bronze and I wonder if it is naturally that dark or if he was a rich kid who paid for fake tans like in the shows on television. I stare at him with as much shame as a fox eyeing its prey. He is timid and I can tell by the way he stands, his shoulders slumped in a way that suggests he is uncomfortable. His hands are buried so deep within his pockets I wonder if he has dug holes into the material and his fingers are hanging underneath his dusty jeans. I want him to look up because his eyes are so firmly planted to the floor. I want him to look up! Abruptly I push a plastic chair -which had sat next to me- over, flinching at the noise at it bangs to the floor. I see the boy look up through strands of loose soft hair, his eyes catching mine. Now that he is looking at me I don’t know what to do so I just stare back, my hands falling to my lap in an almost respectful manner. “Jared, over here honey” I hear a woman call and Jared tears his gaze from mine, bowing his head and trudging toward the voice that calls him. I look after him regretfully. “His cute” voices Melissa next to me and I glance at her briefly. “Is that why you pushed the chair over Charolette?” she asks and I turn to her again, fixing my gaze on her face. “I pushed the chair over cause I wanted to see his whole face” I reply, watching her expression darken with thought. “And what do you think he looked like?” she questions, a finger itching her chin. “ I think he looked sad” I say, beginning to wipe the eyeshadow from my eyelids so he couldn’t see me looking so stupid. 

I blink rapidly as I surface from the memory, smashing back to a reality in which I am lying on a bed, my naked body wrapped firmly in a sheet and blankets. Jared is next to me and his arm is draped lazily across my stomach, his body turned toward me in a way I find comforting. He is sleeping and I take the chance to stare at him. I gaze at his sculptured body, his arms and chest bulging with muscles which shift gracefully beneath his skin as he sleeps. So different from the scrawny boy I met in the care home. His skin is still bronzed though his hair has taken on a deeper shade of brown. I run my fingers through the thick mess of hair, noting the natural part in the middle of the scalp and how the front pieces of hair fall evenly to his cheeks. The longest strands at the back of his head reach the base of his neck and I recognize the gentle kink of his hair which only appears when it has been cleaned. I trace the faint crease lines on his forehead. One, two, three. And half of a crease line beginning just below the furthest one. I know when Jared is in thought his brows knot together and the crease lines deepen, the skin folding, his lips tightening.

I place my pinky on the faint beauty spot beneath his right eye, near the curve of his nostril and run my finger along the smooth surface of skin until I reach his lips. His bottom lip is slightly fuller than the top but his lips aren’t swollen and large like mine. They are perfectly arched, the skin a soft pink. I run my finger gently along his top lip and give a startled jump when his lips move and he speaks, “Your creepy” and his lips pull together to become a closed mouth smile. His eyes are still shut and I kiss a closed lid. “Why?” I ask, my voice hushed even though we are the only two within the room. “Because your staring at me while I’m sleeping” he responds, his eye brows lifting upward and interrupting the smooth surface of skin on his forehead. “Your beautiful” I respond, gently pulling my hand away from his lips to drag it beneath the covers and hug it to my chest. “You don’t-” he begins, his eyes snapping open as he grabs my hand, “Call a boy-” he continues, pulling my hand nearer to his chest and rolling my entire body on top of his. “Beautiful” he finishes, catching both my slim fingered hands in between his own. 

I smile honestly, a strange feeling accompanied by the tugging of my lips as they pull themselves into a soft smile. “And why’s that?” I ask before Jared has rolled us again, causing my legs to flail around helplessly and hug his waist. He is now on top of me though soon he has pulled us both into a seating position, my bum resting on his thighs, legs wrapped tightly around his waist and my hands pulled together behind his neck. “Because boys aren't beautiful” he states simply, his large hands carefully tracing patterns on the bare skin of my back. “Jared-” I begin though he silences me when he draws his lips nearer to mine. “Charolette, please know that I have always thought you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen” he murmurs softly against my lips and I give a deep sigh, leaning into him and pressing my lips against his. His mouth molds to mine and soon we are in a passionate embrace. My body is pressed so tightly against his I am sure I am hurting him until I hear him groan into my mouth, pulling me even nearer to him. His hands are planted firmly on my small waist and I feel that the sheet that has been covering me is slipping from my chest. 

With a sweep of one hand Jared has pulled the sheet off and I shiver as cold air hits my naked body. Sensing my shiver Jared breaks the kiss and pulls me into a huge embrace, his body warming me. He pulls me down to the bed and tucks me in beneath the covers like a child, until only my head is left poking out. I laugh noisily, loving how Jared sits next to me with crossed legs and strokes my hair, his eyes roaming my face and body. “I was honestly not that cold” I protest, though my usual fight is not in the argument. “I know. But I want to take care of you” he replies, smiling with his eyes are he stupidly drags his hand across my face repetitively, squashing my nose and parting my lips. “Stop” I laugh unable to get my hands free because he decides to sit on me. “Charolette” he continues, his hand still dragging along my face, a mock serious expression lighting his own face. “I wanna love you” and his lips quirk with amusement as I struggle to free my hands. “Do you want me to hurt you?” I reply, the threat hanging in the air between us. Jared leans close to my face, my breath catching as his lips brush carefully against mine. “Just try it” he murmurs and I do. Pulling my hands free I smack his stomach with my palm through the covers and with the other I push his shoulder, causing him to become unsteady and fall. Mid-fall I catch his shoulders and smash them into the mattress, coming to a steady halt once I am sitting on top of him, my legs wound around his own. “There” I state, my hands pressed firmly to his chest. He barks a laugh, his back arching and his neck turning. 

“What a turn on” he comments and I lean into him, my bare breasts pressed against his chest my head resting beneath his chin. I close my eyes as I feel his hands caress my back and bum, sighing whenever his fingers stop to specifically trace a scar or beauty spot. “How long have you wanted this?” he asks to the ceiling and I am surprised by the question. “I don’t know” I answer truthfully. A long silence follows until Jared speaks again. “Do you remember the first time we met? You were wearing that orange make up” and I grin against his chest. “I remember. That was a terrible eye shadow” and I feel the rumble of laughter through his chest. “That was a terrible eye shadow” he agree’s and then he begins to stroke my hair with one hand, the other lightly tracing patterns on my skin. Singing softly a song I can’t make out I briefly hear him sing, “ I really love your peaches wanna shake your tree” and close my eyes to the terrible lyrics, my muscles softening, my mouth slightly agape and my breathing soft. 

I want to fall asleep like this. I want to stay here for a very long time. I want to hear the rhythmic beat of Jared heart, feel the warm pressure of his hand on my head. I want his voice to carry me to a peaceful dream land. And it might have if a sudden knock on the door hadn’t interrupted us. Snapping us awake we both scrabble for blankets and sheets. I manage to cover myself and Jared has wound a sheet from his waist and below. Scuffling to the bathroom Jared steps toward the door. I hear the door open and feel the cool rush of wind sweep through the small room. I note Jared’s sharp intake of breath and my heart beats frantically within my chest. “Oh I knew it” I hear a voice from outside proclaim and instantly my heart rate steadies and I step from behind the bathroom door. In the entryway is Melanie. She raises an eye brow when she see’s me. “Charolette” she states in a tone that suggests she isn't suprised and I smile weakly. “We have alot to talk about”