Scarlet Zobelle's
Nakaupo ako ngayon sa couch ni Zero samantala siya ay nakaupo sa swivel chair niya.
I took a deep breathe bago magsalita.
"I have this friend who got married last week. He's not only my friend but my first love."
"I gave everything to him my time, my effort, my whole attention. I even gave my love for him without thinking of myself. Because stupidity strikes me so hard, I even went to the wedding. I hated them, I hated him. Why? Because he promised me ten years ago. That I would be his bride. That we will live in the same roof together, have kids, be happy. But why is he is the only one happy?"
"Gusto ko siyang bawiin, pero wala na. Ngayon pumunta akong Paris to forget him. But I can't! Because I fucking love him! I fucking love the wrong person!"
Kung saan siya masaya sige lang. Yan kasi ang problema eh. I wanted the best for him, Pero pano ako? When will I forget?
My tears burst again for the nth time. I don't want to recall and hurt myself. This time I'll move on and be happy for myself.
"Don't cry for the wrong person. You know why?" He asked.
"Because if you keep crying for the wrong person, how will you find the right one?" He asked.
May point naman talaga siya. If lagi tayong umaasa sa maling tao. Wala naman mangyayari diba? Aasa at aasa parin tayo.
"I mean you don't have to find him. He's right here."
May double meaning ba yung sinabi niya? Or ako lang tong assuming. That's the problem kasi We assume too fast, we pertain things will happen. Kaso di lahat ng gusto mo makukuha mo.
"Zero, tell me sino si Cindy?" I asked all of the sudden.
Nagulat siya sa tanong ko. Don't tell me, I have a bad feeling that Cindy is her Girlfriend. This is so intense. Hanggang ngayon di niya parin sinasagot tanong ko. Well Kailangan ko ng sagot sa mga katanungan ko.
"Don't. Ever. Mention. Her. Name. Infront. Of. Me." Sagot niya.
His face was so mad. Mukhang nagalit siya sa sinabi ko. I was about to apologize when he shouted.
"Sorry, Zero. I was just curio-"
"GET OUT!" Sigaw niya habang tinuturo ang pinto palabas.
Tumayo ako at pinagpag ang damit ko tsaka umalis. I silently close the door at bumalik sa table ko. Ngayon nakatingin silang lahat sakin. No one is saying a thing. Everyone was quiet. Siguro dahil sa makabinging sigaw ni Zero sakin. I hated this kind of feeling. Nakakahiya, sinalubong ako ni Des at tinanong.
"Anong nangyari? Sinigawan ka ni Sir?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Des.
"Oo eh. May nasabi kasi ako. Argh!" Inis na sagot ko.
Umupo kami parehas sa bench malapit sa office ni Sir. Kinukwento ko sa kanya yung nangyari. Hindi siya makapaniwala dahil wala naman daw siyang nababalitan na naging girlfriend ni Sir.
"Zobelle! Paki dala na lang nito sa table ni Sir!" Sigaw nung isang assistant ni Sir.
Teka! Wait bakit ako?! How inconsiderate naman. Hinablit ko yung folder at umalis.
Nasa tapat ako ng office ni Sir. I don't know kung kaya ko tong buksan. I'm too nervous to open the door. Baka sigawan niya ako.
"Zero! I mean Sir Zero, Ito na po yung folder niyo."
Nilagay ko ang folder at hindi ng hinintay sumagot si Zero. Maybe he's still mad at me. I'll just say sorry tomorrow.
"Scarlet before you leave please get me a cup of coffe." Sabi niya.
Hindi ko na siya nilingon at lumabas para sundin yung pinagagawa niya. Pumunta ako sa cafeteria at bumili. Sinamahan ko na rin ng Blueberry cheescake para peace offering ko. Nakakahiya kasing magpakita sa kanya. Ang dami kong kasalanan.
Nagbayad ako at bumalik sa office niya. Huminga ako bago buksan ang pinto.
I knocked two times before entering as a sign of respect. Pinipirmahan niya ang mga folders na binigay ko. He's really mad, he can't even look at me.
Nilagpan ko ang pagkain niya at hinintay ang utos niya. Alam ko namang uutusan niya akong dalhin gung folders.
"Why are you still here?" Tanong niya pero hindi parin siya nakatingin.
I ignored what he said and left his office without saying a thing. I felt that he hated my presence.
Bumalik ako sa table ko at tinapos yung mga design. Focus ako sa Gowns si Destiny naman ay shoes. So ang theme namin ngayon ay Tropical.
Its already 7:30 pm. Niligpit ko ang gamit ko at umalis.
Dumating ako ng 8:15 sa Hotel kasi kumain pa ako sa labas.
As usual I checked my social accounts before going to sleep. May IG story si Seah.
It's my dad's birthday. Nasa bahay namin ngayon sina Seah with Nixon of course. As always, their happy without me. At the Video Dad's blowing the candle while the guest are busy singing a birthday song. Mostly relatives namin yung guest.
I almost forgot na birthday ngayon ni Dad. They didn't even bother to call.
I heard a calling tone from my laptop. Speaking of my family they are calling through skype.
I answered the call and greeted Dad a happy birthday. I was to shy because Nixon and Seah were there.
"Dad! I miss you!"
"Zobelle, you should go home." He said.
I wish I could. I badly wanted to go home. But I can't. I can't face my nightmares.
"Dad! I'm fine here. No more distractions no more pain." I said while smiling.
"Zobelle, How's your love life status there. I heard that there are alot of hot guys in Paris." Masayang sabi ni Seah. Masama ngayong ang tingin ni Nixon sa kanya.
I don't need ang hot guys. I need your guy. He's the only man that I need. But he's yours.
"I'm waiting for someone. But he's not waiting for me." I said.
"Aww, don't worry he will be with you. Maybe someday?"
He can't have me and I can't have him. Because he's your husband and you're his wife! Someday? Are you sure? Hihintayin ko yung araw na yun pero mukhang hindi na yun dadating dahil nakatali na siya.
Nagpaalam ako sa kanila at binaba ang tawag. Sinabi kong maaga pa ako bukas.
Fate please find me a guy who will truly love me.
