Chasing Fire

A Rose on the Tundra - Part 21

From the Diary of Noralee Hale

June 15, 2018

Dear Diary,

I watched a man die from heartache while his home burned to the ground.  He hadn't committed any crime except living somewhere he was told he did not belong.  I don't think I have ever been so sad.  I didn't really know him, then why am I sad he died?  Life is so short and uncompromising.  It makes me wonder if you can truly have what your heart wants most or will you have to barter away your freedom to choose, little by little?  I want to be free.  I also want a comfortable life.  Can these two things ever go together?  I am plagued with doubts.  All I know is when I look at him, the one I love, things softly fall into place.  It makes sense, even though I know it shouldn't.  The where are we going to live and the how are we going to make a living, don't seem to matter as much to my heart as my mind.  I just want to be with him like I have never wanted another human being in my life.  There is strength in his kind eyes and confidence in his smile.  I pray to God that I am not wrong.  I hope God hears me.  God save us all and please give Duncan a home that will never be taken away.  One that welcomes him with smiles from his wife and children, hope and love. Amen.

It had been the most wretched night of her life.  Duncan would not stop struggling with the officials and he was tasered twice.  The second time his heart stopped.  He finally laid still after fighting to the bitter end. His soul left this world searching for a better one.  Noralee could not believe what had happened in front of her eyes. 

"Please no...no...no."  Over and over in her mind and she clung to Bear like a scared child.  He was shocked and had a look on his face she had never seen before.  If he could have had a grave expression this was it.  He looked absolutely mortified and pale with the shock of seeing his friend laying on the cold, wet ground while the law enforcement official tried in vain to revive him.  A heavy rain began to fall as dawn was breaking.  The mist and the extinguished smoke from the ruined cabin combined to create a fog around them.  Noralee would never smell fresh rain and dying smoke, and not think of Duncan.  She dropped to the ground and began to cry, not because he was a person she knew, but because he was a human being stripped of life and dignity.  The whole situation felt so wrong that she wanted to start screaming to the dark gray sky, to God, to anyone who would listen. 

Once it was understood that there was no chance to resuscitate Duncan.  The officials made calls and more officials came and filled out reports, took photos and interviewed them over and over.  If Duncan had died all alone under a free, clear sky it would have been much simpler.  It all felt like a bad omen to Noralee and she began to question everything.  Was it even possible for them to be together?   She looked over at Bear and was startled.  He was red in the face and all the calm coolness, the relaxed, carefree smile was gone.  She believed he was angry, no more like livid.  Then she was afraid of what he would do next. 

"Bear?"  She touched his arm hoping to soothe him.  He didn't pull away but she could feel the tension inside him building like a strained rubber band.  "Are you going to be alright?  I am sorry about your friend." 

Bear said nothing.  He only sat and stared at the smoldering ruins of Duncan's camp.  Noralee didn't try to push him to speak.  He would when he was ready.  She was learning if he didn't have an answer he would not say anything.  There was no answer to what happened to them that night.  Duncan's body was carried out by EMTs and they all followed.  Bear pushed the motorcycle along an old path back to the Denali Highway.  Mountains in the distance loomed over the horizon.  She imagined Duncan enjoyed that view every day.  It was tremendously beautiful in bad and fair weather.  They were ready to make their way south, but the police would not let them leave.  They still wanted to check out Noralee and Bear's story.  They were suspicious that Bear had a home in the National Park as well and pressed him on its location.  He sat silent and answered with yes and no answers only.  He was tight as a clam and when they pressed Noralee she played stupid.