Monday
The rest of the weekend is spent doing homework and thinking about that dance.
I tell Carrie everything, she's my best friend. But some things with me and Drew, I like to keep to myself. I think this is one of those things.
After I get ready and grab coffee, I head outside. His car is gone. Not like I'm expecting him to sit here and wait for me every morning.
When I get to the park n' ride, I don't see his car there either. My mind goes blank and my heart drops.
I talk to Carrie, we have our muffins, and I'm just trying not to show my worry about him that was getting worse by the second.
He's not in math, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.
You cannot do this to me again.
At lunch, I see him.
By that point, I'm not anxious anymore, I'm mad.
After me and Carrie have lunch, I see him go outside, probably with his friends and/or to smoke.
I tell Carrie I'll be right back and I walk outside.
He's with his friends. I almost turn around but he sees me. I know he can see the emotion on my face, and he knows it's not a good one.
I walk past his group and go around a corner away from everyone, waiting for him to come to me, because I know he was watching my every step.
"Jen, are-?" He starts.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" I yell, surprising him and myself.
"What?" He was so taken aback.
"When you weren't here, I almost had a panic attack, Drew!" I yell more, I never yell. I even push him away a little. And tears form in my eyes before I can even think to turn around and run away.
"Jen, I'm sorry!" He tries to reassure me and comfort me, but I back up so he can't touch me.
I just shake my head, tears falling, and I try to look away so he doesn't see. But I'm sure he has seen anyway. I'm too emotional, I can't help it.
Before he can say anything else, I wipe tears and fast walk back inside and go straight to the bathroom.
After Carrie comes after me and comforts me, we have to head back to class.
I do my best to avoid him for the rest of the day, still upset even though I probably overreacted. But I also didn't. Last time he wasn't in school like that, it was not good. I reacted how I reacted, I don't think I could have stopped it if I tried. Feelings are feelings.
We don't talk the rest of the day.
When I get to park n' ride, he's waiting at my car.
I sigh as my heart drops. But I also knew this was coming. I'm still not prepared though.
Once I get up to him, I speak first.
"I know I overreacted," I say. He just looks at me. "I'm sorry," I add.
"I'm sorry," He replies, which I don't expect.
"I overreacted," I repeat.
"No, you didn't, you reacted as expected I think," He says, even though we both know the flaws in how emotional I am.
"I just got worried," I try to explain.
"I know, it's understandable, I'm sorry I worried you," He says.
"Thank you," I reply, awkwardly, again.
"Can I give you a hug?" He asks.
I just nod. And he does.
We hug for a while, my face in his chest, and tears form in my eyes again. Just this morning I thought maybe we would never hug again.
After, we say our byes with nothing really left to say, and go home our separate ways.
Later, as I'm doing my homework, I keep getting distracted by thoughts about this morning.
I write it out, but I still think about it.
That night, I can't sleep obviously, after thinking about this all day long and being upset. So instead, I do something stupid.
I get up, pulling yoga pants and zip up a sweatshirt on to cover myself. I get out of my window and walk over to his. I knock on his window and wait. He comes to it a minute or two later. He smiles a little but then sees my face. Then he gets out and comes up to me.
"Are you okay?" He touches my arms, rubbing them a little, which makes me tingle and shiver more.
"No," I say.
He looks at me with his concerned eyebrows and looks down, his hands falling back down.
"I can't do this anymore," I say, my voice cracking and tears already forming in my eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"It was too much then, Drew...and it's too much now, way too much," I cry.
"Jen – ", he starts.
I back up a little, "I think we should stop seeing each other..." I say, instantly regretting it.
He looks as if he's going to say something else, but gives up because he knows I'm emotional and won't listen right now. Even if I don't mean what I say exactly.
"If that's what you want, Jen," He replies, sounding hurt.
I just cry more and walk away back to my room.
Right after I close my window, I fall to the floor and have a crying attack into my sleeves.
This is definitely not what I want.
YOU ARE READING
The boy next door
General FictionThey were best friends and like childhood sweethearts growing up. As they went through the awkward middle school stage, they kind of lose touch. But when they get to high school, they realize that they are kind of still sweethearts, in a way. And in...
