The boy next door

In between: Post wallowing, not sleeping well, again, and avoiding each other.

Monday

Monday morning comes, I'm anxious, my chest feeling tight. Ah, what a familiar and, fond, emotion. I totally missed it while it's been gone for months now. Sigh.

I shower, and I get dressed in my usual winter garb: black leggings, turtleneck sweater, boots. I guess I have to make things as normal as they usually are, but without him, and apparently while being more tired.

I let my dark brown hair just dry wavy, which looks better when it's longer, as it is now. I put my usual make-up on, just covering up acne and adding mascara and lipstick for flare, I guess. I don't even really want to put lipstick on, but like I said, have to keep things normal even though they're not and I'm sad. I put on a darker mauve and then in my backpack reluctantly.

I grab my black pea-coat and go out into kitchen, throwing my stuff on to the table. I guess my mom hears that because not even a minute later when I'm making my coffee to go, she's in the kitchen.

She is the lightest sleeper and hears all, but somehow doesn't notice when her daughter sneaks out after she goes to bed.

I take my coffee off of the Keurig, put it to the side, and grab a mug out of the strainer for her. I put her coffee in and start hers before she's even up to me.

"Thanks, hon," She smiled sleepily.

"Mhm," I reply, going to get my milk. I put milk in and stir, the usual. Then I grab her the cream and go over to the table with my coffee. I place it down near my bag and put my coat on.

I put my bag on.

"Sweetie?" She asks after stirring her coffee.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking her in the face for the first time for three days because I'm bad at lying. This is from across the room so I think I'm okay.

"Are you okay?" She asks, my heart jumps as she continues, "You've been quiet all weekend, and you seem tired." That's because I haven't been sleeping well.

I go up to her and kiss her on the cheek. "I'm okay, Mom," I try to smile the best I could.

She smiles back.

Then I walk to the door, coffee in hand.

"Have a good day," She says.

"You too," I say as the door shuts behind me.

I get in my car with tears forming in my eyes. Crap.

I park in the big 'park n' ride' in the middle of town, as there's no parking at actual school, so a lot of people park here and walk. It's quite a walk, not too long but not short, but I used to have company...one with black hair and a cigarette in his mouth.

I sigh and look around, his car not here yet. I'm not supposed to be checking up on him, but it's instinct by now. We've been checking up on each other for five years.

I hear familiar loud music that catches my attention, the bass not helping with the tired headache. I look over and see a familiar car coming into a parking lot. It parks and I'm frozen, almost literally. He turns his car off and gets out. He immediately notices me. Then I quickly turn away and start walking to the school, as fast as my little heel boots can take me.

When I get to the school, I'm out of breath from walking so fast. Good thing these boots are broken in from walking in them for pretty much a month now.

Best way to break in shoes, park really far away and walk back and forth to school, every day.