Zzzz...
Zzzz....
Ramen noodles on a pretty girl's head...
Now there's ramen noodles on my bed!!
As that rhyme stuck in my head, I remembered something Komaru told me when I was 12 years old. "Don't stick your head on the desk like that, you'll get chicken pox!"
That warning rang through my head, and I sprung up like Togami's dick whenever he sees a chance to enter a sweepstake.
Wait, who's Togami?
I had forgotten about that song I had dreamed of, but I convinced myself that whatever it was, it would be a hit once I got back home from my first day of school.
Unless it was the second. The clock read 8 AM, which probably meant I had slept in way longer than I needed to. A whole day, even.
I suddenly remembered that when entering Hope's Peak, I instantly fell into a seizure. I remembered the signs-- Trix [not sponsored] Yogurt Swirl Vision, sudden dropping of the Balls and severe bed hair. I felt the top of my head, and the bed hair was still there, as if it had taken on a mind of its own.
My name is Makoto Naegi. I'm the Super Level High School Asian. I would've been the lucky student, but that title was banned after a gay terrorist blew up the MPR last year. I suffer from chronic ahoge syndrome, which sometimes is accompanied by random radio signals.
Right now, my ahoge picked up signals coming from the MPR. Was it a remnant of the explosion that annoying twink caused, perhaps? As I approached, I saw that the MPR was in rather good condition, and 14 other kids stood inside.
Like I do at most schools I end up in, I decided to introduce myself to every person in that goddamn room.
ULTIMATE EYEBROWS
"Y-you're late, classmate!" yelled the Ultimate Eyebrows. "Explain yourself!"
"I'm Makoto Naegi, the SHSL Asian, and you're...?"
"I am Kiyotaka Ishimaru!" he yelled, a single hair falling from his eyebrow and into my hands. I put it in my inventory, knowing it would come in handy later.
ULTIMATE SUPER SENIOR
"I'm Makoto Nae-"
"Hold on," said the homeless man. "Lemme guess, you're the... SHSL...."
"A-"
"The SHSL Aryan" he smirked, proudly holding up his crystal.
"Asian," I frowned. "Seriously, why does everyone think we're white?"
"Everyone thinks I'm black," Hagakure sighed, pointing behind him. "Me and big titties over there."
"Which one?" I asked.
ULTIMATE WALRUS
"H-how are you still alive," I shivered as the SHSL Walrus's rolls grazed against my arm. "Seriously, you need help, man..."
His belly hit me in the face as he spoke. "I don't need help!"
My face was redder than the blood in my veins was pink. As I walked through the MPR, I had to keep saying to myself...
No, Naegi, you don't have a fat fetish.
ULTIMATE BITCH
YOU ARE READING
Gangnam Ronpa: Shitpost Happy Havoc
Fanfictionthis is sad mukuro play give me wings
