Im So Sorry... (An Antisepticeye x Reader) BOOK 1

•Chapter 2: The Attempt•

(y/n)'s POV
I groaned as my eyes opened then shut. I heard crying beside me and looked over seeing Chase and only Chase. "Chase?" I asked softly. His head snapped up and he hugged me. "We thought we lost you dude! Don't scare us like that again!" He sobbed. "Where are the others?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled. "They were out getting you gifts. Anti too." He said, growling out Anti's name. "I'm alright Chase. Don't worry. I just wanna go back into my room. Please?" I smiled. He nodded and helped me up before helping me to my room. I changed once he left then I locked my door, laying on my bed. I started thinking to myself, something that wasn't healthy. He wants you dead. You are pathetic. You are nothing to him. He wouldn't love an ugly, fat, worthless piece of garbage like you. He even said you should ki- my thoughts were cut short when I heard Chase knock on my door. "Hey dude? They are back. You wanna come out?" He asked. I sighed and got up, unlocking the door before going into my bathroom. I saw all the antidepressants in there and took a deep breath. I bet he would laugh if he saw my body lying lifeless on the ground. If he didn't laugh, he wouldn't feel sorry. He would just dispose of you. Hell, he might even trade you for another human! He wants nothing to do with you, can't you get that through your fucking skull? My thoughts started to wander and before I knew it, I had a handful of pills already at my disposal. "When did I put these in my hand?" I asked, my voice cracking. I heard the door open and I made a last minute decision to down them. "(Y/n)! We heard you we- (Y/N)!"  Jackieboy screamed, catching my body as I fell from shock. Henrik ran in after he heard the scream and immediately made me throw them up by shoving his fingers down my throat. I coughed and vomited, my whole body shaking. Anti glitched in to see what was happening and he stumbled back in surprise before smirking. "She couldn't even go 10 minutes without us! She's like a child! She's a baby! She can't be by herself and is too dependent on us!" He laughed. I felt my eyes sting and I flushed the toilet, turning to look at him. "I'm not dependent on anyone. Youre the reason I'm doing this. You are the sole reason I'm ready to die. You used to be the only reason I had to live but now, I realize I'm alone. Sure, I've got the others but no offense to any of them, they didn't matter to me as much as you did to me." I told him. He growled and stuck out his knife to me. "You say I'm the reason you want to die? Then do us all a favor and do it." He chuckled. Chase grabbed the knife and threw it, Marvin's magic catching it and making it disappear. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Anti?!" Seán yelled. I look down and looked at my miserable form. "Just let me be..." I mumbled. "I don't understand why you guys care as much as you do. I'm not worth it." I sniffed. "Of course you are. Everyone is." Seán said. I gave him a small smile before feeling a small pain in my arm from Henrik putting a sleepy medicine in me. I felt my eyes close once more that day, hoping I wouldn't wake up this time.