Whirlwind//G.D & I.M

11

Ivan was just holding me in his arms, still laughing from when he scared me a few minutes before. Normally I would feel comforted and forget about my problems. But now it's different. I can't look at him without feeling guilty. Every time I spoke to him, every time I touched him, every time i looked at him, I couldn't get the thought of the kiss out of my mind. I couldn't get the feeling of guilt out of my stomach. "I'm gonna go to the toilet, I'll be back in a few" Ivan said casually, getting up from my bed and walking out my room, I just nodded. I tried doing anything to take my mind away from the guilt, but nothing worked. Why did I feel guilty? It wasn't my fault... Or was it? My guilt turned to anxiousness, I started breathing heavy and uncontrollably, I could feel myself start to shake and my throat dry up and before I knew it I had tears streaming from my eyes. I tried calling for Ivan, but I couldn't get the words out of my throat. I just sat on my bed panicking, not knowing what to do. Ivan walked in a few seconds later and straight away dived towards me and wrapped me in his arms to comfort me "whats wrong? whats happened?" He asked, I just shook my head "whats happened" I again just shook my head, I rested my head against Ivan's chest as I cried. "It's okay, just calm down, keep your breathing steady, it'll be okay" I just shook my head once again. "breath in time with me" He said, as he started to steadily breath in and out, with me doing the same. "I'm sorry" i cried, he just tightened his grip around me "it's okay you've done nothing wrong" I shook my head and pulled away from Ivan "yes I have" he sighed and attempted to hold my hand, although I moved it away "I'm such a horrible girlfriend" I said, I started to cry again, he looked at me with a sad expression "no you're not. You're a wonderful girlfriend and I wouldn't ask for anyone better" I wiped my eyes and smiled lightly. "I love you" I said, he smiled "I love you too" he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, I sniffled slightly as I shook my head "I just want to be alone" he looked taken aback, although nodded anyway. Normally i need Ivan in situations like this, but in this case, just seeing him and how caring he is makes it all worse. "If you start to feel panicky again then phone me please." he said as he stood up and walked out my room, my heart just broke even more. I could hear him talking with my mum downstairs before the front door shut. I sighed and pulled myself under my duvet with regret.

Grayson's P.O.V

"Grayson" Ethan said, scratching the back of his neck "what was that this morning?" I sat down staring at my phone "something has clearly pissed you off, you barely spoke to Lucy and didn't even say goodbye to her, whats happened" I sighed and placed my phone down, shaking my head. "Dude. Whats wrong" Ethan said again, getting impatient. "I kissed Lucy" Is all I said, Ethan looked shocked and confused "okay? that's a good thing isn't it?" I shook my head once again. "No Ethan, its not a good thing" I cried, getting stressed out. Ethan gave a confused look. "Can you elaborate?" He asked, I hung my head down and ran my hands through my hair "it wasn't anything serious, it was just a quick kiss, and to be fair, I leaned in and started the kiss, but she didn't stop me! She kissed me back Ethan." He didn't seem to be catching on "And why is that a bad thing?" He asked, I groaned, not wanting to explain. "She has a freaking boyfriend E!" I cried. Ethan sat down next to me "oh shit, she does" I rolled my eyes "yeah" I didn't have anything to say. I didn't know what to say. Although Ethan asked another question "well, what are you gonna do about it?" I shrugged, the one question that I didn't have a real answer for. "I don't know man. I spoke to her this morning and she just wants to ignore it and forget that it ever happened, but I think we should do something about it" Ethan nodded and thought for a second. "I mean. What can you do? She has a boyfriend. Yes she should probably tell him, but it's her decision whether she wants to do that or not. Not yours" I nodded, once again running my hand through my hair. "I don't know if I want to see her again man" I sighed, Ethan gasped and place his hand on my shoulder "bro are you sure?" I nodded " I think it's for the best, I really like her and I know it'll just be awkward now. I should just forget about her and let her be happy with her boyfriend." Ethan sighed and nodded his head slightly, he stood up and patted me on the shoulder as he walked out of the room. I leant my head against the counter and covered my face with my arms. What have I done?

Ethan's P.O.V

I sighed as I leant against the wall in the living room, I hate seeing Gray like this. Lucy is a really kind girl and I can tell she makes him happy, although she is also messing with him without meaning to. I can tell that he is in pieces. I walked to the doorway and looked through to the kitchen, where Grayson was sat with his head down on the counter and his arms covering his face. He just sat there, It hurt me to see him this way. There was nothing i could do or say to cheer him up. He didn't want to see Lucy again, because he knows it'll upset him too much, but Lucy's my friend. I can't just stop seeing her, but I can't upset and betray Gray like that. Maybe I can change his mind. I hope I can change his mind.