Heartbreak [Jack Gilinsky]

XIII - I'm sorry

authors note:
im about to kms bc im trying to upload a picture but it's not working kys wattpad jusT KYS
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It was an understatement to say I was shocked when I saw Carter after he picked me up. His eye was blue and purple, his lip was swollen and slit open, and his nose was in an odd angle. I felt horrible and decided to allow him to drive me around, instead of having him explain everything there and then.

I sipped on my cold milkshake while I looked out the window as Carter drove to wherever we were going. It was pretty late in the evening so the landscape was dark with stars and the moonlight was illuminating shadows and dark trees.

In my mind I was wondering why I had given him another chance to explain himself, and why I let him pick me up from home, and why I didn't just hold my ground. I guess it was all part of being a girl; forgiving way too quick. Or at least giving someone the opportunity to explain themselves. Plus he was beaten to a pulp and I couldn't help but feel responsible for it.

It was chilly in the car but I liked it, and the usual butterflies I felt when I was so close to Carter were absent and missing. I felt uncomfortable and I wanted nothing more than to just go home and leave the cheating bastard wondering what he did wrong.

"Where are we going?" I muttered eventually, turning to Carter. I noticed my voice being a little hoarse and shrill, which was probably because I was getting sick. Drinking a cold milkshake probably didn't help my soar throat, but I wasn't going to throw it out; it was simply too good.

Carter turned to me with a smile before looking back at the road. "You'll see."

For a split second I wondered if he was kidnapping me or something, and forced myself not to laugh out loud for thinking it. Then again you never know, he may as well be a sick psychopath. And you couldn't blame me for thinking it; we were literally driving in the middle of nowhere, there were just forests and trees around us. No street lamps or houses or supermarkets. Just forests.

The silence in the car was a bit frustrating so I decided I'd turn up the volume on his radio. At the exact moment my hand moved to turn up the volume, his did the same and out fingers touched.

I let out a small gasp, turning to him, and he looked at me, even though he was driving.

Suddenly the thought of twilight came into my mind and I burst out laughing out of nowhere. My stomach started aching and Carter just looked at me like I killed his puppy.

I tried to stop my laughter or even catch my breath, but I really couldn't and eventually tears formed in my eyes. My laughter died down and they turned into sobs, and suddenly I was crying.

"Whoa, Julia," He said, when he realized I was crying out of nowhere. He stopped the car beside the road, no sign of people around. "Are you okay?"

I brought my hand up to my face, the other still holding the milkshake. I was a completely a mess and continued sobbing. I had no idea why the dam holding back my tears suddenly broke, and why I was laughing and then crying. I didn't know why the hell I was born being a girl and why I couldn't just be a guy; they didn't laugh and then cry out of nowhere.

I felt his arm come around me but it didn't feel right. I was supposed to feel butterflies but I didn't.

"Don't touch me." I sobbed, shrugging his arm off me. "Don't fucking touch me, Carter."

Pathetically I tried to wipe away the endless tears, and his arm went absent. He leaned over to open the dashboard and he got out some tissues, handing them to me.

I took them without saying a word and wiped my face, the mascara I had on going with it. I probably looked a mess, but I didn't even care, I wasn't even going to try and look good for this guy.

I put my milkshake in a cup holster before blowing my nose loudly and obnoxiously. I didn't care if it wasn't lady like or if he thought I was gross; at least I didn't make out with other people while I had a boyfriend.

"Bring me home." I said, taking out my milkshake again.

"But Julia, I--"

"Bring me back!" I shouted, and he instantly started the car, reversing and driving back from the way we came. "Explain yourself."

I sipped from my milkshake, my strength back, and he stared at me for a while before turning back to the road.

"Matt told me to come to his party," He started, focusing on the road while my heart beat loudly in my chest. "And I declined but he eventually convinced me to come. Then when I arrived I was just talking to my friends, drinking a beer and just having a good time, and Amber, who was also hanging out with us started acting weird and started flirting with me and then she sat on my lap. I told her to get off and she started making out with me. Then I heard your friend Lexi and I pushed her off me, and then I saw you."

My breath was stuck in my throat and I didn't know what to say. I tried hard not to be convinced by his story, but I just wasn't surprised, and I could believe that it happened. I knew Amber was the type of girl to be doing that and I knew Matt was her slave that would do anything for her.

Suddenly I felt like crying all over again when I turned to look at his beaten face, when he hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, putting my hand on his shoulder and he turned to me. "I'm so sorry."

He sighed and smiled, before turning back to the road. "Don't apologize, Julia. It's not your fault."

"It is!" I exclaimed, feeling like Lexi when she started apologizing for something that wasn't even her fault the night after the fight. "Jack shouldn't have done what he did."

The moment I mentioned his name his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel.

"That fucking bastard is getting what's coming for him." He almost growled, and I shook my head.

"Please don't press charges."

"You can't ask that from me Julia." He replied, focusing hard on the road.

"I'm not asking you to forgive him, just don't press charges, please." I repeated. How I was feeling towards Jack right now was indescribable but I still cared for him. He was a fucking asshole for doing what he did to Carter, but I didn't want him thrown in jail for it. He wasn't a minor anymore and the things that could happen to him were too hard for me to bear.

I wasn't going to forgive him either for doing what he did. He basically beat Carter for absolutely nothing. But if I couldn't prevent him from going to jail or something like that, I would, even though the consequences weren't my problem.

Carter turned to look at me for the hundredth time, and sighed, shaking his head.

"The things I do for you."

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authors note:
don't hate me i have a plan
my chapters are always short im sorrY

ALSO i changed my wattpad user to cashtonpls thought u should know