XXVI - Definite

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authors note;

hey i updated the characters for Amber (to Madison Beer) and Lexi (to Ashley Benson). :)

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I have been in my room for three days straight, only coming out to use the bathroom or to eat if I could even keep it down. Lexi came by yesterday to talk about it, Jack J having told her about the situation and told me she supported me with either decision I made. That obviously wasn't what I wanted to hear, though, but I was glad she was there for me.

Right now I was curled up in bed and staring at my wall, not ready to go to school to face Jack G who I knew would be impossible to avoid.

I knew he probably wouldn't confront me but I still knew just seeing his face would be enough to make me throw up again.

And my father.

Multiple times he had tried to talk to me but I would simply plug in my earplugs and ignore him, not wanting to deal with that either.

The way he hurt my mom was beyond words.

Some times I'd feel bad for ignoring him, but then I'd remember the look on my moms face and I'd be fine again.

Eventually I had to get up. I had to get dressed and ready for school. It was still early and I knew my dad would probably still be sleeping, so I left my room and started walking to school since I didn't want to sit around and wait for the bus to come.

Not to mention it was really nice to walk with the early morning sun with barely any cars or people around just by yourself and nature and singing loudly without anyone hearing you and having freedom to think and breathe fresh air.

I felt better. I didn't realize it took fresh air to make me feel better until now.

-

Sixth period. Spanish class. Jack Gilinsky.

I had thought about skipping class the entire day but I already had multiple tardy's and absences that I couldn't afford any more. I didn't want to give the school in California a bad impression when I'd apply, so instead I dragged myself to the classroom, biting on the inside of my cheek and forcing myself to stay strong.

He was right there. Where he always was. His seat in front of mine. I bit harder to keep from crying and had my hand in a tight fist, digging my nails in my palm as I walked to my seat.

The moment I sat down in my seat, he turned to me, and leaned on my desk.

"Guess what happened before I came to class just now?" He excitedly started speaking, grinning up at me like yesterday hasn't even happened. He waited for a while for me to say something but continued anyway when I stayed quiet. "Remember that Sophomore girl in my English class? Riley?" He didn't wait for me to say anything. "She told me she was like a huge fan of Jack and I's vines and she was totally throwing herself at me, so I-"

"Jack," I interrupted him, my voice breathy. I couldn't believe what was going on right now.

His grin faded and his lips turned to a straight line. He didn't seem surprised at my little interruption; it was as if he expected it.

"Why are you..." I muttered in disbelief, my voice low and wavering. I couldn't understand why he was being like this.

"Why am I what?" His voice didn't have his usual tone. This one was plain and uncaring. He wore an expressionless expression like he really couldn't care less.

I was taking deep breaths, feeling tears well up at how cold he was being. "I can't believe you." I croaked, shutting my eyes to keep the tears inside.

When I opened my eyes again, blurred by tears, his expression was pained for a split second before he looked away, turning back to the blackboard.

I bit on my lip and buried my face in my hands, unable to hold back the tears anymore.

Why was he being like this? I was aware I wasn't his girlfriend but I was pretty sure we were getting there, and I was also sure he liked me. If he just wanted me for a good lay he could have just done it by the lake but he didn't. He was the one who stopped.

I had no clue why he would suddenly turn it all around and make me feel like literal shit when I needed him to be there for me. I had no clue why my dad had to go and cheat on my mom. I thought he loved her; I really did.

Being in class was the last place I wanted to be when I was this vulnerable and fragile so I took deep breaths and forced myself to calm down as I wiped away my tears and walked up to the teachers desk after packing my stuff.

After making an excuse about feeling ill I was sent to the nurse who I managed to convince in less than five minutes, calling my mom to pick me up.

She didn't pick up after I called her three times and since it was obligated for a parent or guardian to pick you up when leaving school grounds I had no option left but to call my dad, who unfortunately picked up on the first ring.

"Julia?" He asked in some kind of disbelief.

I was tempted to hang up and just wait until the period was over, but I knew for a fact the nurse would just send me back to class and I really didn't want to see Jack. Oh, why couldn't my mom just pick up!

"Can you pick me up at school?" I asked plainly, staring intently at the floor. This was all just too much.

"Now?"

"Mhm."

"O-okay," He agreed instantly, and I hung up before he'd say something stupid like 'I love you' and sat back down in the chair a I continued filling in the papers that stated how I was feeling and blah blah blah.

Funny how heartbroken wasn't noted anywhere. Probably wasn't considered a real thing in the adult world.

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authors note;

please comment about who i should do for the cast guys thanks

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