Heartbreak [Jack Gilinsky]

XXXIII - Fight

He flipped us once again, staring at every naked inch of my body, his rough but careful fingertips tracing everywhere, intently watching the trail he left behind on my cold skin with his hot basically burning skin.

The alcohol was in effect but it was him that made me drunk. Everything blurred together with his passionate ecstasy and it was just him and I molding together.

It stung at first but as I relaxed it gradually got better. The way he rolled in so slowly, filling me, was making me dizzy. His hot lips and my cold ones. His hand holding mine tightly. His comforting words. It was real. I knew it was. It wasn't just a fuck. I could tell it wasn't. He was so careful, almost afraid I'd break in his grasp. Afraid I wasn't real. The rhythm of his thrusting hips varied and each time he changed the speed he asked me if it was okay. If I was okay.

When I woke up I was crying. Because the warmth of my comforter wasn't nearly enough to replace his warmth. Jack's warmth. Despite the things he said I missed him. I missed his touch. I wanted to feel him again. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I curled into a pathetic lonely ball craving his warmth. I knew if I stayed to let him explain I'd forgive him in a heartbeat because I loved him.

I didn't want to forgive him. At least not so easily. That just gave him leeway to fuck me over continuously. I wasn't some toy.

I crushed my pillow to my chest, crying silently. I still felt his lingering touch on my skin. His arm protectively around my waist as we fell asleep. His warm steady breath on my neck. His lips leaving tingling kisses. His soft comforting words.

My phone vibrated from somewhere on my bed in the dark room, and I peeked over the thick layer of blankets to where it lay on the duvet. I could see the light of my phone clearly in the darkness illuminating almost the entire room.

I stared at it until it stopped vibrating. What if it was Jack? My breathing turned heavy as my thoughts once again trailed to him. How he chased me in his boxers to the elevator. How I ran away.

"Fuck." I whispered. I practically I already forgave him and I didn't even need an explanation. What did that say about me as a person? I was weak. Apparently I could be toyed with like a piece of crap. He could break my heart over and over, but it would still beat for only him. I was totally powerless under his presence. It scared me how much I loved him.

Not able to take the suspense of who called me I dug through the sheets until my fingers wrapped around my cold phone, instantly checking to see who had called me. The brightness almost blinded me and I instantly lowered it to the lowest of the low. The name that was on my screen shocked me. It wasn't Jack. It was Lexi.

I sniffed, my brows furrowing together. Why would she call me? Instantly I slid across the screen to call her back. For some reason I suddenly yearned to hear her voice. She probably hated me and called me to cuss me out for ditching her but I didn't care. Just hearing her voice would make me feel better.

Instantly she picked up. "Hey."

"Hi," I croaked, my voice hoarse from the crying.

"Are you okay?" She instantly asked, her voice as soft as I could remember and I started crying again. That's when I confessed how much I missed her and how stupid I was to break what we had. I cried for so long, barely being able to even speak properly and she just listened, not uttering a word until I was done. And then I told her about what happened the night before, crying hysterically.

"You're not an idiot, Julia," She muttered after I was done, having closed my rant with 'I'm such an idiot'. "You couldn't have known it was a bet, don't blame yourself. He should have never lured you in like that."