Heartbreak [Jack Gilinsky]

XXIV - Pain

authors note:

(not edited srry)

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It was like the air was kicked from my lungs.

My father? My dad would do such a thing...?

I slowly started shaking my head in denial; I refused to believe it. "No..."

"How do you know?" My brother asked from behind me, his voice shaking in anger.

"I went to visit him at w-work and..." My mom's voice was stuttering and wavering and cracking and it was so heart breaking I just wanted it to stop, I couldn't take seeing her in this much pain. "And he was with another woman," She continued after a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "He told me they've been together for five years."

"No..." I croaked again, my voice cracking as I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. My dad? He wouldn't do that, he loved my mom. Right?

"I'm so sorry honey," My mom cried when she saw my expression and this time she was the one comforting me, crying her own tears as well.

"No, no, no...." I repeated, still denying what was most likely the truth. "He wouldn't do that. My dad wouldn't do that."

"So you're going to divorce?" Jack Gilinsky asked carefully, holding my hand tightly.

I watched my mom bite her lip and stare at me and my brother.

"He is. He's kicking me out of this house, too." She said, wiping her blood shot eyes.

"What?!" My brother screamed, slamming a fist on the counter.

"Not you guys, of course, he originally wanted to wait until you both graduated before divorcing but-"

"Why are you defending him?!" My brother yelled, clearly angry but not at my mom.

"Calm down." I stated angrily, my voice stern as I stared at Jack J. I got where he was coming from but my mom honestly didn't need anyone screaming at her right now.

My brother looked at me and took a deep breath, nodding.

"Sorry." He apologized, and I bit my lip, my tears gone.

"So what's going to happen now?" I asked, turning back to my mom who sat back down on the stool.

"There was a job offer I got a few weeks ago that I turned down because it required me to move to California, but I'm taking the offer," She said, her hand on her forehead.

I pondered over what she said and looked at Gilinsky, whose eyes were full of worry.

"But that means..." I whispered, realizing it meant I'd had to move, too.

"You guys are free to stay here," She said, looking at us sincerely. "You're both old enough to decide for yourself and I'm not going to stand between you and your father. Obviously you're welcome to come with me, it's up to you guys."

It wasn't that she wanted to push us away or that she didn't care about us; she cared about us too much. She didn't want to put us in a position where we'd all go to court and have them battle out who got to keep us since that was just too harsh, instead having us decide ourselves.

And usually it'd be impossible to choose between your mom and your dad but if one of them did something as unforgivable like an affair, the choice was easier.

However, staying with my mom meant moving to California and leaving all my friends, while staying here meant staying with my dad and having to look at him everyday.

There was the option of going to live by myself or moving in with my oldest brother or maybe even Jack J or G but I wasn't going to leave my mom, especially not after what happened. I didn't want her to be alone.

This was such a kick in the ass with a knife taped under the shoe that kicked you. It was shocking and mean and horrible and I couldn't get over the fact my father actually did this.

"I have to go back to work." My mom muttered, smiling weakly at me before getting her bag. "My lunch has long since finished. Think about what you want to do, alright?"

She gave us a hug and a kiss before leaving the house in silence. I looked at my brother who was looking at the floor before looking at Gilinsky who was staring at me with a hard expression.

"I'm going for a drive." My brother muttered after a while before giving me a soft smile and leaving the house as well, leaving just me and Gilinsky in a silence.

I was biting down on my lip and looking at the floor, pondering over what I was going to do. Against my will a tear slipped out no matter how hard I was biting on my lip to keep it in, and Jack neared me and took me in his arms, holding me close.

"I don't know what to do..." I whispered in his shirt, clutching it in my fist.

"Shh," He hushed me, his fingers playing with my hair as he cradled me. "It'll be okay."

"I can't leave my mom," I croaked, pulling away a little to look at Jack.

"Then don't." He simply said, his face totally expressionless.

"But then I'd have to leave you..." I stuttered, crying more at the realization.

His face twitched a little before he pulled me into his chest again, rubbing my back.

"I don't want to be a dick or anything but it's not like you're my girlfriend, Juju" He stated, causing me to instantly pull away.

"Wait what?" I whispered, my voice shaking. I honestly did not need this.

His eyes awkwardly roamed the roam in uneasiness and he shrugged innocently.

"So it doesn't matter to you if I leave?" I asked in a low voice, my voice shaking way too much.

I knew I wasn't his girlfriend but I figured I was his friend and he cared about me. And we kissed and I thought we shared at least something.

He shrugged innocently again, like he didn't think it was wrong, and I scoffed with a smile, wiping away some tears.

"Jesus." I muttered, taking a step back.

"I mean you're hot, but I never saw us being anything, Julia, I mean honestly?" He continued with empathy as if the sentence would make me feel better. If anything it made me feel sick and I felt like throwing up.

I felt my body shake in anger and madness and confusion and I just couldn't believe what was happening. "You're joking, right?"

He shook his head slowly and awkwardly and I looked at the floor smiling weakly.

"I wonder what I did so wrong to deserve this much shit..." I whispered, wanting desperately to just disappear and make this all go away.

I kept taking steps back until I was by the kitchen entrance and I turned and sprinted to my room, my heart feeling like it was in my throat and the world was upside down.

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authors note;

plot twist am i rite guys

anyway i keep writing me instead of my and then i think about 'get out me car' and i crack up about myself :')