Dear Ex-Girlfriend #8,
I was in love with you. Not just teenage love either. Like, freaking in love with you. I thought you were the spunkiest, awesomest person I'd ever had the good fortune of dating. I was so proud when I got to say "yeah, we've been going out for five months" or whatever. Maybe you weren't my first...well, anything but you were the best. As I addressed earlier, I still even really like you.
But Jesus Christ you were clingy. I know now that this was partly my fault for doing stupid shit all the time but after a month or so you really started busting my ass. All the time it was "where are you" "who are you with" "what are you doing"? I'm not trying to make excuses but that's what made me do what you feared in the end. I get that you weren't as close to Triv and Jack and Q and them and that you felt insecure with the whole group dynamics but you needed to push yourself further. Whenever I hung out with your--I'm really not sorry to say this--fucking asshole friends I tried my best to be the outgoing one. You know me! You know I'm the one who wants everyone to shut up, not keep talking! But then when you hung out with us it was always this big chore and this big event that I had to go through and bribe you to do (okay, I liked the bribes). You've got to admit that we do way more fun things then your pseudo-upper class friends do. What was up with all those weird ass 'gathering' parties? Like, you buy beer for 50 and there's only 12 of us? I felt like I was part of some weird cult when I we were sitting in those people's backyards doing weird shit. Plus, you're all pretty juvenile. Sometimes its fun to do things we'd do middle school but...spin the bottle, really? And how you were desperate to see me hook up with that guy; seriously, who does seven minutes in heaven? . I didn't get that side of you and sometimes I wondered which side was the real one: the hilariously dorky side or the kind of try hard, trying-to-make-your-boyfriend-bi side.
I know it looks like iripping into you but I'm seriously picking out the smallest parts. I know what you went through, that you don't hang out with them anymore, so I feel kind of bad writing this in the first place. But I think the thing that really did it for me--other then the stalking thing--was you not getting along with my best friend. You know how you acted towards her and you know what you said so I don't need to say it but dammit why? She's the coolest person on this planet and I don't think you said a single nice word to her. People told me, after, that you were annoyed with my relationship with her but...what? If you were jealous, you do realize she was 14 at the time? FOURTEEN!! She still had braces! And if you just weren't comfortable with her and I being so close...I don't get it. You knew we were friends when we started dating so why make a deal of it months in?
Jeez, I hate that I said all that but it's honest and maybe I might even send you this letter (without the gf#8 thing...that's kind of weird). You need to hear this and I think you'd take it better in writing then in person. You always were juvenile, immature (there's that word again). I thought we really had something good going but we both sabotaged it and in the end maybe I was wrong. I still like you, how could I not, maybe i still even love you but now I know you and well...yeah that's it.
From ex-Boyfriend #6 (unless you were lying to me in which case I'll be not really surprised).
