Mending Memories [ON-HOLD]

Prologue - Beginning of the End

I'm acting like a mad man, like a rabid dog on the hunt. I looked around and saw the apartment that has been the witness of my love trashed. Twenty-seven. Twenty-fucking-seven transmitter bugs ang nakita ko sa apartment namin at walang iba ng maglalagay nito kundi si Natalie. I spat bitterly as the thought of her crossed my mind. How can she do this to me?

Isang taon na ang relasyon namin, the longest one I've ever been in. Hindi ko na nga mapaniwalaan lahat ng mga pagbabagong ginawa ko para lang sa kanya. I was willing to forget my life of comfort for her. Hell, we even got engaged. Ngayon hindi ko na sigurado kung totoong minahal niya ako dahil kahit sariling pangalan niya ay pineke pa niya. How can I be so blind for all this time?

"Arrrrggghhh!" sigaw ko sabay tapon sa picture frame na may litratong kuha sa photobooth ng carnival noong 5th monthsary namin. Hindi ko napigilang mapaluha. Sari-saring emosyon ang lumukob sakin. Rage, anger, frustration but the most painful is the sorrow, the sorrow of giving your heart fully to a person who will only betray you in the worst way imaginable. It felt like my heart was being crushed and torn apart. Stupid. I was so fucking stupid.

"Huhhh. Oh God honey. What happened here? Were we robbed?" inosenteng tanong ng babaeng kakapasok lang sa pinto. Shock was written all over her small porcelain face. She looked at me with those big beautiful eyes as if asking for an explanation. Natalie, my sweet angelic Natalie. Who would've thought that behind that innocent façade is a goddamn minx.

"Cut the crap Natalie! Or should I call you Anatalia?" sigaw ko sa kanya. Nagulat naman siya dahil kahit minsan hindi ko siya pinagtaasan ng boses.

"Vann ano ba ang problema? What the hell are you talking about?" pagpapatuloy niya sa pagpapangap.

"I said enough with the bullshit! Why? Bakit mo ginawa yun?" patuloy parin ang sigaw ko as I walked closer to her and slammed the door behind her.

"Honey please calm down. You need to listen to me please..." mangiyak-ngiyak niyang sabi. She tried to hold me pero mabilis kong kinasa ang baril ko at tinutok sa kanya.

"Don't you fucking touch me! I swear to god I will shoot your brains out! I won't listen to any more of your lies Natalie," pasigaw ko paring sabi. "Put your hands behind your head and don't you fucking move!" sabi ko na mabilis naman niyang sinunod.

"Giovanni you have to listen to me. I can explain everything. Just please calm down," she said as her tears starts pouring down. What a great actress. Does she expect me to believe a word she says after everything I've learned?

"Explain what huh? Kung pano mo pinlano na akitin ako dahil alam mong ako ang humahawak sa kaso ng Daddy mo? O baka naman kung pano mo ako nilagyan ng tracker at audio transmitter to always make sure that your father's syndicate is always one step ahead of us? Oh here's something good why don't you explain how you toyed with me for a year making me believe that what we had was real!" sabi ko at binato ang lamp na nahawakan ko right over her head. I saw her flinched ng tumama ito sa pader sa likod niya.

"I'm s-sorry Vann. I-I'm really sorry. Alam kong galit ka sakin and I deserve that. Just please don't leave yet. S-stay please," she pleaded.

"You think I'm a moron? You want me to stay with a bitch like you. Are you that screwed up?" napantastikuhang sagot ko.

"I lied about my identity and about my father but all else was true Vann. All the memories we had was real for me." she looked at me straight in the eyes. I saw her eyes silently pleading for me to stay. Heaven knows how much I wanted to believe her. I just wanted to pick her up and wipe her tears away, tell her that everything is fine and I don't care about what she did but I can't. I know none of it was real and she's just saying all these things to make me hesitate on turning her in.

"Stop playing with my head Natalie. The authorities are on their way here. Even if you manage to get out of the building you can't escape them. Goodbye," sabi ko saka tumalikod at binuksan ang pinto. Doon lang rin tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

"No! Please Vann listen to me don't go. Please just stay for a little while. I beg you don't leave please. Susuko ako hindi ako manlalaban just don't go yet please," She said crying while clutching on my leg.

What has become of us? A few days ago I was madly and deeply in love. This apartment was a haven for both of us. Now like all else it has gone to shit. Marahas kong nilayo ang sarili ko at tinutukan siya ulit ng baril.

"Don't you fucking touch me! Kinamumuhian kita. Make sure our paths don't cross ever again. If I see you again I swear I'm going to bury a bullet in your skull!" sigaw ko sa kanya. That was the last thing I said before I walked out. I heard the police sirens from afar. Mabilis ko binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan ko and drove away. I left her there together with all the parts of my heart she shattered.

Nasa huli daw ang pagsisisi. Everyone back then told me, "Love will get you killed" or "Love is a just a commodity we can't afford." If only I've listened I won't be going through all this pain now.

Pinaglalaruan ata ako ng tadhana dahil unang beses kong pumasok sa seryosong relasyon ay ginago agad ako. Sana isang normal na tao nalang ako. Yun bang nahaheart-broken kasi may third party o dahil sinabhan ng, "It's not you. It's me." Pero bakit kailangan pang ang babaeng mahal ko ay anak ng lider ng syndikatong matagal ko ng sinusubukang hulihin. Fuck!

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagseself pity ko sa sasakyan ay nakita ko ang isang lalake sa gitna ng kalsada. Habang palapit ng palapit ako ay nakitang kong nakataip ang mukha nito at may dala-dalang grenade launcher. Shit! Mabilis kong kinabig ang manibela pero huli na ang lahat. Naramdaman ko ang pagsabog at nilukob ng apoy ang kalahati ng katawan ko habang gumulong sang sasakyan ko sa bangin at tuluyang nahulog sa dagat.

Unti-unting lumabo ang paningin ko, naubos ang aking hininga at tuluyan ng sinakop ng kadiliman ang mundo ko.