xxxvii. the last goodbye

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Sometimes I wish I could
go back to that last night
I lay next to you
in the darkness
listening to your breath
growing slower,
your laughter fading to sleep.

The sleepy, hushed words
from your lips then
belonged to my favourites.

I wish I could silently
slip out of your arms, just
to hear you whisper
Please stay with me.

And so I would remain
sitting by your side for a little longer
staring at you closing your eyes again;
unable to look away.

Your hand would rest in mine
and that warm caress of
your warm skin on
my cold skin
would be enough.

I would say goodnight,
the last one to ever tell
you in words
like that.

My heart seemed to know
that, as I let your hand
go and kissed you
for the last time,
it was a goodbye for ever.
It felt so much like
an ending
even when I could never
have known.

Never could have known
how those few hours of
that November night
would change
everything
between us.

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