I think that I'm just really bad at being suicidal. I've never doubted for a moment that I want to die, I've always wanted to die. The problem is I've never truly acted on it. I've taken a handful of pills but never enough to overdose. I've cut but never deep enough to bleed out. I've drank excessively but never enough for my liver to fail. I've held a gun to my head but never pulled the trigger. The truth is I probably never will, and that's something I want to explain incase there's any chance that it could help someone. I want to tell you about people who've made me want to die and people who've made me want to live. Everyone I'll talk about here is someone I've loved for one reason or another and has made a huge impact on my life. There's no person who makes me want to die it's just some of the actions they've done hurt me. I'm going to start with the friends that I've had through the years.
